Undisclosed Desires [Jenna]

[caleb ryan herrington]

_________________________________________

I could never f****** understand why we need to learn history for our future Caleb thought to himself as he stepped out of his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist walking out of the bathroom and into his room. Today was Tuesday so that meant that he was supposed to go over to Jenna’s to study a little bit seeing as how he was behind on the work and didn’t have a remote clue to what he was doing. Tuesdays were Jenna’s off day so she offered Caleb help when she noticed his past exam and test grades her D’s and F’s.

I wonder what her apartment is like he thought to himself as he pulled out a shirt and a pair of jeans from his closet throwing them on his bed. Caleb removed the towel wrapped around his waist and fully dried out his body from the water that remained after he stepped out of the shower. It’s been a while and Jenna is still with Rigg, what a waste, I doubt she would do anything to cheat on him on purpose….Caleb thought to himself and then it hit him. “….but If it was on accident, what harm could it do? He let out a small smirk

Caleb wasn’t a bad guy, but sometimes his intentions were a little malicious. He knew very well Rigg hated his guts, and that only made Caleb want that hate to continuously grow because he knew very well Rigg wouldn’t dare step up to him. He’d be crazy to try to in the first place seeing as how Caleb has been fighting since he was a young teen, he had years of experience of how to brutally beat someone up to a point where a hospital visit was needed. That was only of course when someone made him extremely angry. It’s happened and sure Caleb was never extremely proud of beating a guy to a pulp, but showing that he shouldn’t be messed with as more important.

A few minutes later Caleb was out the door and whistled over a taxi to make his way to Jenna’s. She’s so damn attractive it’s not even fair he thought to himself in the cab ride. Of course Jenna didn’t want to give it up to just anybody, and that made her smart, although sometimes she did have her blonde moments that Caleb usually laughed off. When the cab reached the destination, Caleb paid him and got out making his way to Jenna’s door. He pulled out his phone to make sure that it was the right door before he rang the doorbell, today was going to be an interesting day.....

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Word Count: 447
Outfit: Here
Notes: DUN DUN DUN!

[jenna rianne taylor]

bad for me .

[/right]

"I'm sure there's a community college around here or some sort of job that would be willing to hire you," Jenna spoke into the receiver of her Blackberry as it rested on the marble bar that separated her kitchen from her living room. Jenna flipped her long, wet brunette hair before covering it in a towel and flipping it on the top of her head. "Jen it's not always that easy, remember, just because we're related doesn't mean things come as easy to me as they did to you." A male's voice replied loud through the speaker phone on Jenna's cell. Jenna rolled her eyes, "Don't give me that shit, Jamie, you know damn well that nothing came easy to me. I'm working my ass off right now to be where I am." Jenna snapped into the phone, picking it up as she walked back into her bedroom to grab a bottle of red fingernail polish from her nightstand to touch up her toenails.

"Whoa Miss Manhattan, no need to get snappy," Jamie teased his younger sister with a small chuckle, "I know how hard you work and I admire that baby sis." Jenna rolled her eyes again as she settled in on the couch in her living room, placing the phone on the arm of her couch and her toes on the side of the coffee table. She bent over and unscrewed the top on the polish. As much as her nineteen year old, immature older brother got on her last nerve, he was pretty much Jenna's best friend. He was generally the only constant thing in her life and the only person that she could really let lose around and be herself with. Jamie knew Jenna and was there with her though everything like through their father's death, through Jenna's eating disorders and through Jenna's big move to the big city of Manhattan. It was difficult at first for Jenna to grasp that her older brother wasn't going to be just the next room over like he had been her entire life, but Jenna knew that nothing would come between them, no matter how far she moved. Jamie would still be that goofy, yet serious, overly-protective big brother. In ways, Jenna was glad that Jamie wasn't in the room right next to her anymore, because she was getting older and guys at Belmont paid her much more attention than they did at her old school, Joseph McQuirley.

Jenna listened to Jamie ramble on about his psycho girlfriend Mia for awhile while she fixed parts of her chipped toenail polish. Even though Jamie had been with Mia since high school, he was forever telling Jenna that he wanted to leave her and go on to new things. Jamie's love-life was beginning to look like it came straight out off a tacky romance novel, but then again Jenna's wasn't much different- she just wouldn't dare begin to explain it all to Jamie.. just for fear of the guys involved being at danger.

Lost in conversation, Jenna was startled once she heard her doorbell ring- then it hit her. "Shit, Jamie, I'll call you back. I totally forgot I have to help my friend Caleb study for History," Jenna spoke quickly into the phone, rushing to screw the lid tightly back on her fingernail polish. Jamie suddenly grew skeptical at the name of a male being mentioned, "Caleb? Right. I'm sure he'll be studying something else... Jenna, you really have to be careful. I know you're kinda naive and all when it comes to guys but I promise, especially with you, they're not as nice and charming as they app-" Jenna had enough, she totally forgot about helping Caleb that day and the last thing that she needed was her brother preaching to her via her cell phone. "Goodbye Jamie, I'll call you later." With that, Jenna pressed the end button and jumped up from her seat on the couch, making her way over to the door in a rush.

Earlier, Jenna's plans consisted of nothing but lounging around her apartment in her sofee cheerleading shorts and cami, and since she'd just gotten out of the shower she had no makeup on and her hair was still up in a towel- thankfully Jenna was never one of those girls that needed makeup to look attractive, but still she preferred it. Jenna opened the front door and looked up to see Caleb waiting patiently with a smile. His smile seemed to calm Jenna down as she too smiled. "Hey Caleb, come in," Jenna spoke as if she had planned on everything going this way. "Sorry I look like a wreck, poor time management on my behalf," She giggled. After Caleb walked into Jenna's apartment, she flipped her hair over and towel dried it one last time before allowing it to hang damp around her face.

[caleb ryan herrington]

_________________________________________


Ever since day 1 Jenna sparked Caleb’s interests. She was extremely good looking, no one can doubt that. He honestly couldn’t believe she was a virgin, but some girls treat it as if it were Pandora ’s Box and won’t let anyone crack the code till marriage. Caleb figured there was a difference between having casual sex, and actually making love. Two things he has done before but will probably never admit. All the people of Manhattan believe he is a player, and that’s the way he wants to keep It, if not, things could get complicated….and ugly. No one should ever know he thought to himself.

Caleb was rarely good at keeping promises, even if they involved him. He hated himself for it, another reason why he believed he sucked at relationships and was better of keeping things short and sweet. Once in a while he would make the first move and he knew the girls wouldn’t mind, but with Jenna he figured it wasn’t best to be so impulsive because of his act that he’d been trying with her. He heard about the whole Rigg thing and it only reminded him of his past, it sucked losing someone you were extremely close with once, and he didn’t want to make Jenna feel uncomfortable.

But she might be more vulnerable…..another thought popped in his head as he walked up the steps. God Caleb you really are a dog he laughed a little at himself shaking his head. He knocked on the door and stood up against the wall waiting for Jenna to open the door…which took a little longer than usual. He rubbed the top of his short hair as he waited and sighed a little. Another thing that Caleb lacked was patience; he got rather impatient rather quickly. He was about to knock again but then heard the doorknob twist and there was Jenna, in tight cheerleading shorts and small cami.

At that moment all the thoughts in Caleb’s head vanished and his main focus was on Jenna. God, I hate you so much right now…he said to himself as he quickly played out a small scenario in his head. “Hey Jenna” he said with a friendly smile and walked in her house. Don’t think about it….he continued to try to block out certain thoughts in his head in fear that they will make him do something he would regret. Wreck?...she’s joking right? He thought to himself as he let out a laugh. “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure that I wasn’t at the top of your to-do list today” he said to her with a small shrug. Even though that could be arranged….he smirked a little “but thanks for offering to help, I seriously can’t afford failing” he said to himself. “So where are we doing this?” he asked looking around once more, this day just got a lot more interesting to him….
.....

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Word Count: 486
Outfit: Here
Notes: DUN DUN DUN!

[jenna rianne taylor]

bad for me .

[/right]

Jenna hung her damp towel over the back of one of the tall chairs that were under the bar separating her kitchen and her living room, fingering through her hair again and debating whether to put it up or let it hang loose. She settled on it hanging loose, mainly because she didn't have a hair-tie on her wrist, and walked back toward Caleb. "Aw, no. It's not like you weren't, I've just been pretty... scatterbrained lately." Jenna assured Caleb, biting her bottom lip slightly after she spoke.

It was definitely no secret why Jenna Taylor had been scatterbrained; the whole school was now aware that Rigg had lost his battle with leukemia only weeks ago. It was definitely something that was painful for Jenna and when she was alone her mind would go crazy at times thinking of all the could-have-beens and should-have-beens. It was hard for her to actually wrap her mind around the fact that Rigg was actually gone, forever. She loved him with her whole heart and still did of course. Some people were confused, because Jenna still carried herself mostly like normal around school and held a small smile on her face as well. She knew Rigg wouldn't want her being outwardly depressed at his loss, he even said so himself, so Jenna had tried her best to obey his command and just carry on. The first week was the hardest, but it was getting better. Rigg absolutely thought the world of Jenna and that was probably one of the main things she would miss about him. Jenna didn't know if she would find anyone else in the world that put her on as high a pedestal as he did. She was a strong girl though, especially after dealing with the death of her father, so Jenna knew she really had no other option than to keep looking up.

"Uh, it really doesn't matter to me," Jenna told Caleb, surveying her living room before deciding it would be an appropriate place for their studies, "We can do it here if you're comfortable with that." Jenna nodded her head, not really waiting for Caleb's response before putting up her index finger to indicate she'd be right back and rushing to her room to get her history binder and text book.

****

"So is that a little bit more clear to you now?" Jenna asked, tilting her head up at Caleb. They had been studying for a good amount of time and made themselves comfortable on the floor of Jenna's living room. "When Professor Fox was explaining it at first, I sort of had a difficult time on it, but I think I understand it for the most part now," She smiled lightly, blinking from behind her black-rimmed eyeglasses. Jenna rarely wore her glasses unless she was reading or intently working on school work, and she figured since she already thought she looked horrible, and wasn't really trying to impress Caleb, she wouldn't mind wearing them now. Caleb seemed like a genuinely sweet guy and at that point, Jenna was just glad that he was there with her.

[caleb ryan herrington]

_________________________________________


Caleb liked Jenna’s dressed down look, he obviously didn’t mind at all. She could be in a pair of bra and panties and Caleb would act as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He never made it a thing to be dramatic about something. He just lived for the moment because he knew that at any moment a life could end unexpectedly. It’s what happened to Scarlett, and it also happened to Rigg. Two people he and Jenna cared deeply about, and two people who were unfairly taken from them. It hit Caleb close to home when Jenna said she was scatterbrained.

Caleb knew exactly what she meant and at the time wanted to walk up to her and hug her tightly and tell her that he understood and let her know that it’ll get easier eventually but then that might result in his past being unfolded and he didn’t want that more than anything in the world. “Oh..yeah, about that, I’m sorry for your loss Jenna” Caleb said putting his hands in his pockets. “I know I wasn’t exactly Rigg’s best friend, but I wasn’t exactly wishing the worst for him either.” He said clearing his throat shortly after. “If you need someone to talk to, an unbiased friend, I’m here” he said gently placing his hand on her shoulder not breaking eye contact.

That had to be one of the most sincere moments Caleb had since he moved to Manhattan. It made him feel much more human when he knew people went through similar things that he went through in Cali. He almost felt his eyes water but Jenna was on to the next part of their conversation, where they would be studying. Caleb cleared his throat as he responded “doesn’t matter to me either” Caleb said with a light shrug. She looked around the living room and said they could study there and Caleb didn’t mind, going into her bedroom to study might be a little….awkward. Caleb rarely goes into bedrooms to do things other than sleep and fool around. “It’s your house Jenna, wherever you pick is fine” he assured her.

He nodded as she signaled getting her books and as she did so, Caleb took off his jacket seeing as how he felt a little warmer than he did before he walked in Jenna’s house. He took out his materials and when Jenna came back, they started studying. Jenna made things seem too easy when they studied. “Hell yeah it’s a lot more clearer to me now, I swear when Fox goes over it I feel like he’s speaking a completely different language.” He said with a short laugh scratching his head. “You should be a teacher or a tutor Jenna, you make all of this look too easy, and you make me feel pretty dumb” he said with a chuckle as he looked over at her.

Their faces were pretty close to each other’s and Caleb smiled a little when she smiled. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. A part of him wanted to lean in and kiss her, the other part wanted to just take it further, but he didn’t want to be an ass after Jenna was taking time out of her day to help him pass history. “Ms. Taylor” he started saying. “That’s a pretty cool teacher name” he nodded with a smile referring to Jenna’s last name. “I’d probably be the kid to bring you an apple or something everyday” he said with a light laugh. “What do you ACTUALLY want to do in your future Jenna?” he asked with a more serious tone. Caleb was curious and he didn’t want to leave just yet….

.....

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Word Count: 613
Outfit: Here
Notes:

[jenna rianne taylor]

bad for me .

[/right]

Jenna had to admit, the entire time she spoke there was much more on her mind other than History. Caleb's regards about Rigg were so... sincere, they seemed to genuine. Of course numerous apologizes and deepest regards were sent to Jenna Taylor following the death of Rigg, they were all sweet in their own way and Jenna truly appreciated it, but Caleb's words seemed different. It seemed like he was honestly aware of where she was coming from, how she felt. It was odd, but it calmed Jenna in a way she couldn't fully explain. For the first time since Rigg's death, Jenna almost felt like everything was going to be okay, and that was a big deal. She was unsure of how long it would last, but even for a moment that was enough for her.

Jenna's mind seemed to multitask as she retaught the History lesson to Caleb. He surprisingly seemed to listen to her, and really understand it after all. Jenna was impressed. She laughed lightly at his comment about her being a teacher or a tutor. "I would teach, but I can't stand children," Jenna giggled, tucking a dark curl behind her ear, "But teaching you is fine. You listen." She smiled and nodded her head a few times then peeled her eyes away from Caleb's to look down at the History book. "Don't feel dumb, you're pretty smart. If you were dumb then you wouldn't have understood it even when I re-explained it to you." Jenna smiled once more, only this time down at her book.

She brought her chin up slowly and suddenly realized how close her face was to Caleb's. Jenna almost grew embarrassed, but remembered the comfort she found earlier in him and remained calm. Part of her wanted to break down again, right then and there, and just sob. No matter how much Jenna laughed or smiling on the outside, she had just lost her boyfriend to cancer. Of course it impacted her. If she could have one more day with Rigg she would be different. She would make sure she did all the things she thought she had the time to do before. She would kiss him more and tell him how much she truly cared about him, without just letting him assume it. Jenna didn't even have sex with Rigg, because he respected her too much- go figure.

Jenna's thoughts were interrupted when Caleb began speaking again, though she wasn't fully listening to what he said- something about her last name. All Jenna wanted right now was to be held and told that things would be okay, which is why she unknowingly allowed a few tears to run down her cheeks. She swiped them away, embarrassed of her sudden burst of emotion. She was just fine a few minutes ago! Caleb was going to think she was a nutcase. Jenna wiped her face again and shook her head before tilting it backwards. "God, I'm sorry.." She apologized, feeling horrible that Caleb was clearly speaking to her and she was crying-- crying! Jenna Taylor didn't cry, especially around other guys. The only guys she's cried around was her father, Jamie, and Rigg. Maybe Mason once before too, but that was it.

[caleb ryan herrington]

_________________________________________


Love was a very tricky thing for anyone, including young Caleb. Many people probably had no idea that he was actually settled down back in Cali with a stable girlfriend. It’s not like he wanted them to know either, anything about Caleb’s past was just bad news. He didn’t want any part of it to haunt him in Manhattan and he didn’t want anyone else to feel sorry for him, pity was one of the worst feelings you can have towards Caleb, a feeling that would set him off if ever mentioned. Caleb has worked way too long and hard for someone to look down on him; he would never accept it or let it go.

Caleb’s jaw clenched a little after giving his condolences to Jenna. Something so personal made him really break down but get angry at the exact same time. It wasn’t fair what had happened, especially to Scarlett. Breathe in Caleb he thought to himself not wanting to disclose one of his deep darkest secrets. It was a good thing they were studying something as boring as history to get his mind off of it. Caleb could have probably understood it had he read the book and studied it alone, but having Jenna help him was helpful as well and it made him feel less lonely. Sure he had females over sometimes at different times of the day, but after playtime was over, he was alone in his apartment again, feeling worthless.

After about an hour of studying, it was nice to change the topic a little from the old guys in history, to Jenna. Caleb laughed a little in shock at her response about children. “Seriously!?!? You look like the kind of girl who loves children and who all the children would love having as a teacher. I don’t believe that you can’t stand them." He replied with a smirk. He smiled a little when Jenna said she enjoyed helping him because he listens. “Well if you make all my teachers look like you I’d listen to them a lot more often too” he said with a playful grin. It was no surprise Caleb found Jenna attractive so a few jokes here and there weren’t going to surprise her, he was looking forward to humoring her more.

“Smart maybe, clever…definitely” he said with a small laugh as sat up a little from the floor. “I only needed to be explained the material twice to get it down pat” he said joking about how ‘smart’ he was. He looked back down at the book turning the page and was going to look up to ask Jenna if they were going to continue but instead he felt a warm breath embrace his cheek. He could smell her sweet scent and at that moment would have wanted to make a move. He tried to fight the urge and looked back down at the book and noticed a drop of water hitting it followed by some more.

Caleb looked up at Jenna whose eyes were filled with tears and he closed the book. “Jenna…” he said a little concerned putting an arm around her shoulder to try to calm her down. She apologized in mid-sob and Caleb shook his head. “You don’t need to be sorry for anything Jenna, it’s natural to be upset about this, it wasn’t fair….” He said part of it referring to Rigg and the other part referring to Scarlet. Caleb wrapped his other arm around Jenna as she rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m here for you okay?” he said making eye contact with her getting entranced by her innocent gaze. At that point in time, Caleb could no longer fight the urge, Jenna needed someone, and maybe it wasn’t him she needed but at that time he wanted him to be. He tucked some hair behind Jenna’s ear that had fallen on her face and gave her one more look before leaning in and placing her lips on hers, kissing her softly…..

.....

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Word Count: 665
Outfit: Here
Notes: Finally! lol

[jenna rianne taylor]

bad for me .

[/right]

The words that escaped Caleb's lips were words Jenna had grown oh so familiar with since the passing of her father and especially now with Rigg. "It's not your fault", "You did all you could" or most popular "It wasn't fair what happened"... Of course it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that her father, her best friend essentially, had to leave her at such a crucial time in her life when a girl needs a father figure and it sure as hell wasn't fair that Rigg, seventeen years old, her best friend and her boyfriend had to leave her too. It was so frustrating to Jenna.

Although the words that Caleb spoke were so common in Jenna's life, they seemed different coming out of his mouth, more sincere. Jenna wasn't sure where it was coming from exactly, but for one of the first times in her life the words seemed to sort of, sink in. He made it seem like some grand epiphany, that life just wasn't fair and she shouldn't be upset about it because sometimes shitty things happen.

Jenna sniffed back some tears as she looked back up at Caleb, hearing him say that he would be there for it. Relief fell over Jenna as she steadied her breathing as she held eye contact with Caleb and before she knew it, his hand was running along the side of her face and her lips were brushing his. Caleb was kissing her? Jenna was in somewhat disbelief, but she knew that it was right. Well, somewhat right maybe.

No, It was so wrong, so so wrong, but Jenna wasn't pulling away anytime soon. She needed to feel someone and wanted so badly someone to see something in her like Rigg used to- she missed it so horribly. Jenna missed feeling wanted, and right then and there Caleb Herrington was making her feel wanted, so that was all that was on her mind. Of course it was bad, but Jenna couldn't hold on to regrets. Caleb was right, what happened was unfair, but unfortunately there was no turning back the time on the clock, and Jenna wouldn't have Rigg again no matter what she did. So then again, Caleb was right, and Jenna was gonna let him be there for her as much as he was willing to be. God knows Jenna needed it.

[caleb ryan herrington]

_________________________________________

Caleb could honestly relate to what Jenna was going through. It hurt him on the inside to have to remember the events that occurred a little over a year ago. A part of Caleb wanted to tell Jenna what he went through, so she can know that his condolences were right from his torn heart. But the other part, the part that made a promise he would never bring up that life immediately shut that idea down, only letting Caleb tell Jenna he was sorry for the loss. What happened to Scarlett wasn’t fair at all, at least Rigg had a warning, Scarlett didn’t. Caleb had seen her that morning before the night of her incident, no one could tell him it was going to happen, it just did.

As Caleb held Jenna close allowing her to cry, he couldn’t help but feel his eyes get a little….watery. She can’t see you like this Caleb, especially now he thought to himself as he took a deep breath. For once in a really long time Caleb believed he was in the right place at the right time. Who better to help Jenna deal with the pain other than Caleb? No one has ever mentioned losing someone they love at Belmont, and Jenna’s loss was public. No one knew about Caleb’s loss, so if anything they probably thought he wasn’t being sincere and was just looking for a lay. At this point in time though he honestly didn’t care. People could think what they want, it’s never stopped them before.

After Caleb tried calming Jenna down, he noticed that it worked as Jenna’s breathing slowed down pretty drastically. Her watery, innocent, broken eyes looked all too familiar at someone he used to see in the mirror. At that time Caleb wished someone would have stopped him before he went on the fast track to self destruction, but others just gave him booze, drugs, and women threw themselves at him making him think that it was the only way to recover. A few months after all of that Caleb still felt lousy about it and knew it wasn’t helping, but it did numb the pain temporarily, especially weed. As Caleb leaned in, he wasn’t really sure what to expect, maybe a slap and a boot from her house?

When Caleb closed his eyes connecting his lips with Jenna, he felt her back away slightly, but soon after return the kiss placing her hand on his chest. Was this really happening? It seemed like it was. Caleb gently deepened the kiss letting himself get lost in Jenna’s lips for a few moments. Jenna’s lips were soft and gentle, something he wasn’t always used to. After a minute or so of their lip locking, Caleb gently pulled away looking at Jenna, their faces still close. He bit his lip and rubbed his face “Crap, I shouldn’t have done that…..Jenna, I’m sorry” he said with his hands still on his face. Rigg just died and here was Caleb lip locking with Jenna. He waited to hear what Jenna had to say, if anything….
.....

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Word Count: 519
Outfit: Here
Notes: DUN DUN DUN!