been up but mostly down || aubrey

[tuberose dom helheim]

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Tuberose shot out of his desk just as the bell rang, his teacher giving him a dubious look (which of course went unnoticed by Tuberose), and he sprinted the rest of the distance to the doorway. First out of the class, Tuberose waited a second as the rest of the students from his fourth period English class flooded around him. He was so happy to be out of there. Normally Tuberose loved the class---reading was one of the only school related activities that he actually enjoyed---and yet being lectured about the use of reflexive pronouns was not his favorite subject. In fact, all the information he had just heard had gone in one ear, and had gotten lost somewhere along it's way and hadn't even managed to reach the other ear. He sincerely doubted the information would ever have the chance to process in his mind. After all, he had slept through most of the class. It wasn't his fault it was so boring! Falling in the wave of students walking down the hallway, Tuberose didn't stop until he reached his locker. Fumbling with the combination as he always did, Tuberose cursed when it didn't work after the third time. Tuberose couldn't get the little dial to maneuver just right and after the fifth try he figured maybe God just didn't want him to have his chemistry book. Shrugging it off, Tuberose didn't really care. It wasn't a class he particularly liked. He had been banned from labs long ago. . . Long story. . . And the class was just one big snore fest to him now without the promise of explosions and chemical induced flames.

Luckily he had lunch next. Smiling, Tuberose couldn't wait to take a break from the hectic day. Okay, so maybe it hadn't been exactly hectic----but he had been forced to sprint to school that morning because he had woken up an hour late, and he had missed half of first period. Which of course, didn't help his already tardy heavy record. But Tuberose didn't really mind; it wasn't that big of a deal. School was school. It was boring and stupid and a waste of his time, and yet he still had to go. Shouldering his backpack, Tuberose walked into the cafeteria and made his way to an empty table. He tended to sit with a different group of kids every week, if not everyday, so Tuberose just waited for whoever looked interesting enough to walk through the door. There were a few other kids already gathered at the long tables, eating and talking to all their friends. But Tuberose wasn't really interested in any of them. Sure, Tuberose could make friends with just about anybody given the chance, but he only liked the fun ones. People who were boring all the time, well, they bored him. And Tuberose hated being bored more than anything! Besides sock puppets, of course. Sliding into one of the booth tables, Tuberose sighed to himself. He reached into his backpack and pulled out his lunch; a box of soy milk, scooby-doo fruit snacks, and a packet of carrots. He wished he had packed some apple juice, but what could he do now?

Tuberose eyed the room once more, his normally good mood deteriorating at the prospect of being bored in his one period of freedom. Most of his friends had gone off campus for lunch, and Tuberose had wished to go with them, but of course he couldn't. Despite his lackadaisical view of school and education in general, Tuberose was in danger of failing once more. Not only did he have way too many tardies than was healthy, he was also getting terrible grades in more than half of his classes. His friends who went off campus usually didn't get back until half-way through the following period, and Tuberose knew he couldn't do that. And even though he pretended like he didn't care, Tuberose really didn't want to have to repeat a grade. Again. Two freshman years had been enough for this kid! And yet as he looked from his sad lunch to the people filing into the cafeteria, Tuberose thought that nothing could get worse than the boredom he was about to face. He reached into his backpack once more and pulled out a book, it's cover beaten and broken from what could either be neglect or love.

Head down, Tuberose began to hum haphazardly as he searched through the poor book for his favorite parts. In truth, Tuberose did like reading. A lot. When there was nothing else to do, he could usually find himself falling into a good story. Maybe it was the idea that adventures like those in fictional stories did truly exist, or that there could possibly be something more than what he saw out there. Of course he had never shared these thoughts to anyone before; sometimes it was just better for him to stay quiet. Even though these chances were very rare, they did happen. Tuberose, his humming completely tuneless as his eyes grazed over the page, nibbled off one of the carrots. Flipping the page, Tuberose couldn't ignore the boredom gnawing at the edges of his mind. It was rising with each and every passing second, and he found the extreme urge to randomly shout something into the cafeteria. Of course, that was how he had gotten detention last week; shouting that he loved pandas with the intensity of a thousand suns while in the middle of a French lesson. Gosh, it wasn't his fault that his French teacher was a panda hater! Or. . . something like that. The principal had said something like he was 'a constant class disruption', but Tuberose hadn't really been listening. So as he sat alone at the lunch table, Tuberose felt the need to get up and do something. Standing up, Tuberose left behind his lunch and the book at the table, and made his way towards the cafeteria doors. He'd find something to do---even if it killed him. Scratch that, he didn't really feel like dying, even though it felt like he was about to die of boredom anyway.

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notes ||ahhh! first posts always suckkk!! oh wells. . .
tags ||Aubrey Dechanté
word count ||one oh one nine
outfit ||clickitifyoudare
lyrics ||middle class rut---new low

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[aubrey rein dechanté]

Aubrey detested the idea of sitting alone in a lunch room. It was something he dreaded and never looked forward to, but today was different. He hadn’t gone to his normal lunch period, because instead he had gone to the orchestra room to practice. He enjoyed playing the Cello too much sometimes, and it interfered with his eating habits. Though the boy wasn’t too hungry at the time, it was still bad that he sometimes missed meals for days at a time. There within lied the problem, but Aubrey never really told anyone about his horrid eating habits either though. He kept it mostly to himself, and only every now and again would be speak to someone about it. He just didn’t feel that eating was sometimes important. His mom had made him skip meals before to practice, so it wasn’t like he wasn’t used to it or anything. He had achieved in life enough, right? He had one enough medals to justify his lack of eating…right? Aubrey thought he was right. He always thought that as long as he could progress into something better, someone better; it would justify it all. It would justify the lacerations in his fingers. It would justify the bruises decorating his body. It would justify the blood stains on the hairs of his bow. It would justify his purpose in life.

And so he continued to push himself. He continued to test the boundaries of his arms as they fluently pierced through the air, moving back and forth over the strings of his Cello. The sound that escaped was one that dripped with sadness. It was a tune that could bring tears to the eyes. It was a tune of his life. His left hand jumped across the fingerboard like a fly desperately trying to escape a spider. His fingers pushed deep into the strings, his lacerations reopening and the pain echoing throughout the song. His bow began to move faster and faster as the song began to increase dramatically in speed. His left hand tried desperately- fruitfully to keep up, before finally slipping down the string and cutting through his baby, porcelain like skin. He dropped the bow immediately, a small gasp escaping him as the blood trickled down the fingerboard and onto the wood of the instrument, staining it crimson. He got up, his eyes looking distant and glazed as he covered them with his hair. He set the cello down gently before walking out of the room and towards his locker.

He was in the halls in a second and at his locker in another. Ever so gently, he turned the knob back and forth until the locker clicked and opened, revealing an incessantly neat locker with organized books and folders. His hand wrapped around a water bottle as he took it out of the locker and gently drank from it for a moment. He turned around slowly and shut his locker, heading back where he came. Since the boy was knew, he didn’t exactly know his way around quite yet, and the cafeteria just happened to be situated right around near the music room as well. He opened the door to what he thought was the hallway to the music room, but was mistaken. The boys’ small body gently collided with another male’s, and his water aimlessly splashed onto his shirt and began to drip down. His eyes widened lightly. His shirt was white. If it seeped down to his bruises, people would see…and then questions…and no. He couldn’t have it. He looked up quickly to meet the male’s eyes, fear filling him as he spoke in a small, frightened tone.

“S-sorry.” And then he turned around, leaving the room with haste and heading to the bathroom. He quickly made it into the room and went up to the sink, ringing out his shirt lightly. He ran the water and placed his fingers beneath it, letting out a small hiss as the cold water met his open gouges. He grit his teeth as his eyes glazed over, keeping himself intact for the moment, just until he could get out.

This day was turning out to be quite a mess after all.

[/size]

OOC: omg so gross and icky I sorry v___v

[tuberose dom helheim]

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Tuberose was moments away from just leaving the school, the boredom that he was attempting to run from finally catching up with him. It was terrible, and yet there was nothing he could do to fight it. That was the thing about Tuberose; he loved being entertained, and yet when he was left to his own devices weird things happened, and he didn't exactly trust himself alone. One time he had been at his apartment and had nearly burned down the complex in a wild attempt at making toast using an electrical outlet. Yeah, he wasn't the smartest, and he definitely wasn't the best chef, either. The police had came and everything, telling him about the responsibilities he had as an American citizen and whatnot. Yawn. His parents had been pretty upset after the accident, though, and had even threatened making him come back and live with them. He thought he had learned his lesson after that. He knew that he was only seconds away from doing something completely stupid once more. It seemed so quiet in the cafeteria as he approached the doors, as if no one was really interested in not being an absolute bore today. A small grimace played across Tuberose's face as he reached the door. He put out an arm to open it, and yet somehow it managed to open on it's own. For a second Tuberose could have sworn that he was some sort of magician, capable of opening the door with his mind power. Then he realized that he didn't have any mind power, and that there was a small boy hurtling towards him. Okay, maybe it wasn't so much of a hurtling action, more like a mere bumping in to each other. But their contact had enough force to jostle a water bottle in the other boys hand, and Tuberose watched as it splashed all over him. Just as the other kid uttered a quiet apology, Tuberose let out a curse. He hadn't meant to do that!

But before he could apologize himself, the other person had left. For a second Tuberose sat there, confused. What had just happened? Who had that kid been? He was sure that he had never seen him before in his life. And Tuberose knew everyone. It was more than likely that Tuberose had met every single person in the school, and had tried to befriend each and everyone of them. When he saw someone that he didn't know, Tuberose usually went out of his way to talk to them. So who could that kid be who he didn't know? Curiosity sparked and Tuberose found himself chasing after the other boy. "Wait up!" Tuberose called into the hallway, completely ignoring a teacher's glare as he turned around the corner he had seen the boy turn. He didn't think the kid had heard him because he sure didn't stop, but Tuberose didn't really notice. Instead he found himself plowing through the bathroom doors in search for the strange kid. "Uh, hey," Tuberose managed between gasping breaths. He wasn't the most athletic chap at the school, and that little chase had left him in need of oxygen. Pausing, Tuberose smiled at the boy as he regained his breath. "Look, man, I'm really sorry about that! I didn't know everything would go all WHOOSH," Tuberose said, his hands flying up into the air in an imitation of the water bottle that had nearly exploded on the kid, "And I didn't know you were even there."That was when Tuberose actually realized what the other boy was doing, and he froze. He looked upset. Was he . . . bleeding?

Tuberose definitely didn't like blood. Not at all. It wasn't that he didn't like it because it was nasty, or smelled bad. He had reasons not to like it. "Do you want like a band-aid? I have some back in the lunch room if you need one," Tuberose told him. It was true; he always had a few band-aids in his backpack for emergencies such as this. Or, it could have been just because he thought the little cartoon characters on them were cute and he couldn't resist buying them when he went to the super market. Because Tuberose really wasn't one to be prepared for accidents. "They're Dora the Explorer!" Tuberose added, wiggling his eyebrows provocatively as if he were some salesman trying to encourage the kid to purchase them. "Buy one for free, and you can get a second one free." Tuberose eyed the boy's hands once more, though, and added, "Or, you know, the third ones free too. My point being, that I have all your bandage-ey needs covered!" Leaning up against the side of the bathroom wall, Tuberose looked at the other boy. He seemed cool; no big axes, or visible weapons of mass destruction. He didn't seem like a mass-murder type. Tuberose made lots of friends, and he tended to like just about anyone, but he had to draw the line at serial killers and murderers. There were just some people that no one could get along with! But the other kid seemed pretty nice, even though Tuberose didn't even know him. But, crossing his arms over his chest, Tuberose made the resolution to befriend him. And then the thought hit him----"You're new to Belmont, aren't you?!" He asked, his eyes lighting up in realization. Tuberose loved new kids! They were typically much nicer than some of the people he knew who had been at Belmont all their lives. He definitely wanted to be friends with the kid now, that was for sure.

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notes ||no! it was perfect! i love him!
tags ||Aubrey Dechanté
word count ||nine three seven
outfit ||clickitifyoudare
lyrics ||middle class rut---new low

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[aubrey rein dechanté]

Aubrey was not one who liked pain. He had a low tolerance for it and everyone knew that. He didn’t like dealing with certain types of pain, but then there were other types that he could manage with. He liked feeling pain in his fingers. He liked the idea that blood came out from them. It told him that he was playing his cello right. It told him that he was doing something, anything right with his life. Everyone was always telling him how he was never doing things well enough. Or doing something to the best of his ability. It really did bother him, but he didn’t show it; he could never show it to anyone. He didn’t advertise the things he felt to most people. He didn’t like showing weakness, but sometimes he had to. Sometimes he had days where there was just nothing but weakness, nothing but wanting to crawl into a hole and die. Yeah, those were sad days, and those were probably days like today. It wasn’t that the day was bad or the weather was gross, it was just that…Aubrey felt gross. He felt useless and like a burden to someone he didn’t even know. He was so careless sometimes; it was quite disgusting to him. Walking through the doors and hitting into a random stranger like it was nothing was just not a good way to make friends and Aubrey knew that. Though he doubted the boy would want to make friends with anyone, boys weren’t usually the types to go out of their way to befriend Aubrey.

He thought for a moment to himself. He had maybe…one, male friend? Yeah, that was probably it. Then again, did he have any other friends? Well, maybe that girl Jocelyn…but other than that, really, no. He wanted friends though. They were the things that Aubrey needed and depended on, but he wouldn’t be surprised if the boy he ran into didn’t like him for doing so or just wanted nothing to do with him. Though…there was something in the back of Aubrey’s mind that told him otherwise. There was something that told him…that he heard the boy call after him when he was going to the bathroom. But, no, he quickly dismissed it as impossible. Why would the boy be calling after him? What would he want from him anyway? To humiliate him maybe? To spill more of his own water on him, maybe? That’s what Aubrey thought, and he really didn’t want to find out if he was right, so he just shrugged it off. Well, he shrugged it off just until the boy practically came crashing through the door. Aubrey felt his heart skip a beat and he jumped a little, eyes widening from the scare as his fingers retreated from the water they were under. Why was he apologizing? It was obviously Aubrey’s fault, so…why was this kid making it like it was his own? It confused Aubrey for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak in a small, almost shaken voice.

“N-no…it was my fault. I apologize.” He gave him the smallest timid smile of sorts before listening to him again. He couldn’t help but let a larger grin spread up the right side of his face. Well, the boy made him smile, that was an accomplishment! Though he had to shake his head at the offer.

“No, it’s all right. I have to go practice cello, so there is no point in covering them up when they will just be reopened again.” He gave him a tiny nod with the grin still plastered on his face, but then when the boy wiggled his eyebrows, Aubrey felt one of his walls crumble as a giggle left his tiny frame, a blush lighting up his face as it drained of color a little. He hadn’t really ever…giggled in front of…anyone…before. He quickly thought of something else that needed to be taken care of. His white shirt. He quickly swung the small string backpack from his shoulders off and took out a black hoodie.

“P-pardon me.” He walked into the stall for a moment and pushed his white shirt off, quickly changing it with the hoodie, hoping and praying the boy did not see any of the purple lying beneath the soaking shirt. He walked back out for a moment and put his shirt away, gently slinging the bag back over his shoulders before looking at the boy, his overly large hoodie falling past his wrist and down half his hand. He smiled small when the boy asked if he was new, and nodded slightly.

“Yeah…I am. I have to uhm…go put my cello back.” He walked over towards the boy and opened to the door, standing there for a second.

“Y-you can come…if you’d like, o-of course.” He gave him the same timid smile and held the door open, just in case he did decide to tag along.

That would probably make Aubrey smile more, and he had to admit it.

[/size]

[tuberose dom helheim]

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He had never been a shy kid. Ever. Straight from the womb, Tuberose was a smiling baby boy who couldn't get enough of life. Growing up, he had always been one of the popular students, but not in the 'jock' or 'prep' manner. No, Tuberose had just simply been one of those annoying kids in the front of the classroom who never seemed to shut up, and automatically seemed to be respected for that one reason. At his old school, Tuberose had had so many friends. Of course, that had been before he had moved to Manhattan to attend Belmont Academy. Things had changed dramatically since then. Sure, he had tons of friends, because Tuberose tended to be the type of kid who couldn't function without them. He goofed off because that was all he knew how to do. He smiled because the only other option was to frown. Now there were only a few people that Tuberose would truly call a 'friend', but of course he wouldn't ever admit that. Belmont was a completely different monster than his old school. In the back of his mind, Tuberose almost understood why the kid standing in front of him seemed so shy and disoriented. The only people who actually liked Belmont were complete douches, and that was a fact. So leaning in towards the kid to hear his shaking words, Tuberose decided that he liked him already. There was something about his small smiles and gentle words that Tuberose liked. Sure, he was a huge fan of noise and chaos and energy, but this kid almost seemed better than all of that. Listening to the other boy's apology, Tuberose smiled. "Dude, it takes two cars to cause a collision. Sure, one might have been going past the speed limit or not paying attention to the road, but that other one was still there, right? And then you have those completely chance accidents where one blows out a tire or it actually turns out that a monkey is driving . . . But of course those are rare. And completely not helping my point," Tuberose said with a goofy grin. What he was trying to get at, however, was that it wasn't the boy's fault at all. "I wasn't even looking, so it's both of our faults. It's not fair if you get all the blame. I want some too, god dammit!"

Tuberose's jaw hung open when the boy said he didn't want a band-aid. First off---Who the hell didn't want a Dora the Explorer band-aid?! Tuberose couldn't even begin to understand the boy in front of him. Why, that was blasphemous! But then as Tuberose remembered that maybe not everyone liked cartoons and educational kid's shows as much as he did, he realized the point of what the boy was saying. They would only reopen? That did not sound fun. In fact, it just sounded painful. Tuberose wasn't the biggest fan of pain. Rather, Tuberose did not like pain at all. That's why he didn't play sports or an instrument, or perform any sadistic rituals. Hell, Tuberose still had to be held down by the doctor when it was time for any shots, and only if he was rewarded with a lolipop in the end would he not scream. Getting his ears pierced had been painful enough for the kid. But before he could manage to say anything, the boy turned into a bathroom stall, leaving Tuberose behind with his thoughts on bloody fingers and masochism.

Tuberose waited for a moment. His foot began to tap despite his efforts to control it. Sometimes he swore that he had ADHD, or at least restless leg syndrome, but his parents had never gotten him checked out. They had always told him that he was normal; of course, his parents were not the most average people on the planet either. As fashion designers, they had a more . . . liberated . . . view on life. His mother and father had always allowed Tuberose all the freedom he wanted in life. The last straw for them had been his near-expulsion from his last school, when they had been forced to send him to Belmont. Of course, the circumstances leading up that situation were something that Tuberose didn't particularly enjoy thinking about, so he was excited when the kid finally stepped back out from the stall, a hoodie now in place of the wet shirt. Grinning at him, Tuberose exclaimed "Knew it!" when the kid affirmed his beliefs. Whoo. Tuberose had thought he had been slipping there, for a moment. He would have felt absolutely terrible if he had let the other kid go completely unnoticed in a giant school like Belmont. His face immediately fell, however, when the boy stated that he had to go. A frown spreading quickly over his lips, Tuberose's head slumped like a sad puppy's and his eyes looked at the other kid with a pleading expression. His new friend didn't like him already?

And then the kid offered to let Tuberose come with him, and he felt like he had won the freaking lottery. Jumping up, his smile the same as if he had never dropped it, Tuberose stood up from the wall. "Would I ever like to!" Tuberose shouted as he moved to catch up with the boy, standing right behind him now. "I've never seen a cello up close and personal. I bet it's really cool. I knew this kid who played the piccolo once. She was pretty stupid. And smelled like cheese sandwiches everyday. But I'm positive that you don't, so don't worry!" Tuberose added with a small giggle, his thoughts already streaming miles away. But he was totally sure that the other kid didn't smell bad. First of all, he knew that if he had, Tuberose would have been able to smell it like a mile away. Tuberose could just tell that the kid he was talking to wasn't the type of kid who would ignore personal hygiene. And one of Tuberose's only rules to friendship was that they must smell at least decent. For a moment, though, just to make sure Tuberose contemplated leaning over to smell the boy. Eventually, after a moment of intense consideration, Tuberose decided against it. That would just be weird. Even for Tuberose. "I'm just so excited! I've already decided that you're my new friend, just so you know." Tuberose smiled at the boy. He just knew that they were going to have such a fun time together! "Oh! I'm Tuberose by the way!"

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notes ||erm. that was sort of long. ugh.
tags ||Aubrey Dechanté
word count ||one oh nine three
outfit ||clickitifyoudare
lyrics ||middle class rut---new low

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[aubrey rein dechanté]

So, Aubrey wasn’t exactly as hyper or energetic as the boy next to him…but he thought that would be okay. He didn’t mind people who were happy all of the time, because they in all honesty made Aubrey himself smile. He liked smiling too; he just didn’t do it often. Aubrey found that a lot of the times, he didn’t simply have a reason to smile. There was nothing in this school that compelled him to do it…until now. Now, he had every reason to smile and laugh and what not. The boy he had found today…he was definitely fun, and Aubrey needed some fun. He needed someone to show him that life was worth living, and that it wasn’t simply out of the necessity to continue on. He liked being happy though. He liked being with this boy…there was just something about him…something that made Aubrey smile. Though, he did catch on to a frown when the boy said he didn’t want any of the Band-Aid’s…but then it was soon gone, just as fast as it appeared. Aubrey blinked a little bit before nodding, and walking out of the bathroom with the boy.

As they were walking, Aubrey couldn’t but feel a little rude. He hadn’t said anything to the boy, and he didn’t want him to feel like Aubrey wasn’t contributing to the conversation or getting to know him any better, so right as he was about to open his mouth to talk, the boy next to him beat him to it. Aubrey had to admit, he had to hold back a ton of laughter when the boy talked about a girl who played the piccolo and smelled like cheese sandwiches. He let a fit of giggles gently flood through his mouth, and he let his left hand gently move over it to conceal the laughter so it wasn’t so loud and obnoxious. He nodded to the boy, semi grateful that he didn’t smell that bad, before continuing on walking. He listened to him for a moment…and then finally, an actual, real smile spread across his face. A…a friend. Aubrey didn’t have many of those…and he liked having friends. He liked being able to keep friends. He nodded when the boy said his name, and opened his mouth to reply in a louder voice than before, but still a very effeminate one.

“I-I’m Aubrey. Pleasure to meet you.” He looked over at the boy when he looked, and gave a small, timid smile to him, his emerald orbs gently glimmering beneath the light of the hallway. He looked away soon after though, making a mental note that they were almost at the split hallway with doors, prepared to not make the same mistake twice. They approached the two sets of door, but before Tuberose could turn towards any of them, Aubrey found his hand gently latching onto the other boy’s, pulling him to the right ones as he told him it was the correct way, moving into the music hallway with him. Aubrey was small and petite, so his hand was gripping the other boy’s very lightly, and this was one of the only cases where his hand would actually come out from inside his sleeve. The thing was; Aubrey didn’t even realize he was doing it. His eyes were searching the hallways for the familiar room where he sat and played, but at the same time he didn’t want to lose the boy, and so he imagined that’s why his hand just sort of grabbed his. It didn’t take him long to find the room and he gently walked through the open door, still dragging the boy along before stopping in front of the cello that was situated delicately on the ground.

That was when Aubrey noticed. He dropped the boy’s hand immediately, a deep red blush highlighting his face as he stuttered and stumbled over his words.

“Oh I’m s-sorry. I d-don’t know w-why…I d-did that. Sorry.” He spoke in a small voice, hands retreating to loop with his own, before he walked over to the cello and music, gently moving to put the music in a small bag and then place the bag on the chair. He turned back to the boy, face still red, keeping his eyes on his neck and not really wanting to go up any further.

“S-sorry. I don’t really have…m-many male friends…s-so I sort of just g-grabbed your h-hand out of not w-wanting to lose y-you…s-sorry.” Aubrey didn’t know why, but he felt like he had to apologize and explain himself, and he felt like he had to keep going, but he didn’t. He gently put his sweatshirt sleeve in his mouth and began to chew at it, waiting for the boy to respond, keeping his eyes low to the ground.

He didn’t want to lose a friend he had just made.

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[tuberose dom helheim]

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Aubrey. Tuberose tested the name on his lips multiple times before nodding his head. He liked it. He'd never really known it to be a male's name, but hey. Tuberose wasn't really one either. In fact, he didn't have any clue where his parents had pulled his name from. He was named after some dumb flower that no one even really knew, and so had his brother. That was the danger of having 'unique' and 'original' parents. They were freaks more than half the time. But Aubrey's name seemed to fit him and Tuberose was satisfied. "Oh, Aubrey darling, the pleasure is all mine," Tuberose replied in his most 'regal' of voices, sounding like some old lady who owned a lot of cats and pretended to be a princess on the weekend. Or, you know, something along those lines. He smiled and walked down the hall next to his new friend, Aubrey.

As they approached the two doors, the one that led into the band hall and the other one that opened into the cafeteria, Tuberose wondered if he should have stopped in to grab his backpack first. He was afraid that someone might have tried to steal his precious band-aids, or maybe even his fruit snacks. Opening his mouth, about to tell Aubrey he'd be right back, Tuberose was almost surprised to feel the sensation of skin against his own. Looking down for a split second, Tuberose noticed Aubrey's hand in his own. Raising his eyebrows for a moment, Tuberose just shrugged his shoulders. He felt the boy pull him towards the set of doors that led into the music hallway, and he didn't protest. Tuberose guessed his stuff could late until later; it didn't really exactly matter to him, after all. He was just glad that Aubrey liked him so much? See, normally, Tuberose was the one to get all over people. And, on a regular basis, people did not like him for that. It wasn't his fault that he was a physical tough sort of person; he just liked being comfortable enough with his friends. Of course, Tuberose was never really uncomfortable with anyone. He was just one of those kids that never got embarrassed, which was a good trait, and a bad one. Tuberose didn't mind Aubrey's hand on his at all. In fact, he thought it was sort of cute and endearing. When Aubrey suddenly dropped his hand, Tuberose guessed it was because they had reached the cello-mcthingybob. It looked sort of menacing to Tuberose, as if the instrument would jump up and bite him. He leaned over to stare at it with wide eyes, but moved back when Aubrey stuttered out what seemed like. . . an apology? For what? "Did what?" Tuberose asked, his voice sounding more dense than it normally did. It wasn't exactly his fault that he wasn't the smartest, or the most observant child in the world. God had just decided to leave him a little less blessed than some other students. Tuberose stared at Aubrey for a moment. A light bulb flashed on in his head, though, and Tuberose realized that the boy was apologizing about the hand thing.

"Holding my hand? Dude, it's really no big deal. You have nice hands. Now maybe I'd be a little offended if they were all grubby and scratchy and gross, or if you let go because you thought mine were that way," Tuberose said as he smiled at Aubrey. It wasn't a mocking smile, or one that hinted at laughter behind his voice. No, it was just a simple smile that told Aubrey that Tuberose forgave him for an act that he didn't even think needed forgiveness in the first place. "Which, by the way, they're totally not because I moisturize. And yours are pretty fine if I may say so." It was true; Tuberose was a big fan of lotion. Some people thought that meant he was gay . . . But he really wasn't. Of course he's had his days where he didn't really care about the difference between the sexes, but that was what happened when someone was as impulsive as Tuberose. Things happened. To Tuberose, there was absolutely nothing wrong with liking the same sex either; hell, he had to admit some guys were pretty hot. But lately, he didn't really think he was into guys. He just enjoyed showing affection for others and having soft hands. Nothing was wrong with that, of course.

Tuberose let the second part of the boys apology sink in, and couldn't help but grin. He just loved Aubrey so much already. Moving forward, Tuberose couldn't help himself from hugging the boy. Wrapping him up in his arms, Tuberose held it for a moment before releasing the friendly hug. "Don't worry, Aubrey. You won't lose me that easily! You're my new friend which means that you are stuck with me!" But Tuberose couldn't stop himself from giving a little frown after that last sentence. Some people. . . Well, the tended to not like Tuberose after awhile. He didn't think he was that bad, but apparently others did. His friendships always seemed to be rather shallow; like, he'd go to a party with someone, but he would never ever tell them his secrets. He wouldn't trust half his friends as far as he could throw them. Sure, he did have those that he absolutely loved, but those were the few. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he tended to move in and out of social groups, hanging out with whoever promised him the best time. But there was definitely something about the shy kid before him. . . The way he blushed at nearly everything they said that really spoke to Tuberose. He liked him. And Tuberose had a feeling that they'd be good friends. Looking back down at the thing before his feet---the cello---Tuberose eyed it cautiously. "So. You like to play you some cello, right?"

_________________________________

notes ||gosh i love that kid. aubrey's a sweetheart ^_^
tags ||Aubrey Dechanté
word count ||one thousand and one
outfit ||clickitifyoudare
lyrics ||middle class rut---new low

[/size][/center]

[aubrey rein dechanté]

Aubrey had thought he had met almost every type of person out there, but he guessed he was wrong. Very, very, wrong. The person in front of him…he had never met such being who was so kind…so generous…and male too! He couldn’t think of ever knowing anybody quite like Tuberose…but hey, it didn’t bother him in the least bit. The boy was so nice and caring, and Aubrey couldn’t help but love him already. He really just wanted to latch onto the boy and never let go, but he knew he could not do that. He knew there were rules when it came to things like hugging and touching in society. But he really couldn’t help it in the long run. Aubrey was a very affectionate person, and he liked hugging people and telling them what he felt for them. It wasn’t like he did it for one person and one person only; he really did do it to everyone. He was always keeping his heart on his sleeve, and that was one thing he would never be ashamed of. People always told him it was bad and he needed to watch out, but he didn’t really care when he was around Tuberose; the boy was just…just so comforting, and warming; it was like there wasn’t even a care in the world at this point.

He let out a small giggle when the other male spoke. A wave of relief went crashing through Aubrey’s small frame; the boy was not mad, thank the lord! Aubrey really didn’t want to make such a devastating mistake so early on into the friendship; it would be his last and he knew it. He knew that Tuberose was bringing him out of his shell, but there was also something nagging him In the back of his mind. Fear. Uncertainty. Caution. These were all the things his mind was whispering to him. Telling him to be careful. Telling him to watch every move he made, because he knew if he lost the boy, then he would probably close up completely…just like he used to do, just like he always did. Whenever something bad happened to Aubrey, he became quiet, and not the type of ‘I’m tired’ quiet. He was detrimentally shy and timid when he was upset, and the smallest things really upset him, to the extreme too. He didn’t like staying upset, but sometimes he couldn’t help it. Sometimes his mind liked to play with him, and whisper such dark and evil things in his ears; and sometimes he couldn’t take it.

But right now was different. The boy was immediately thrown out of his dank train of thoughts as he was swooped up into…into a hug? Really? Was he actually…hugging, Aubrey? The boy was shocked, to say the least, but he didn’t mind one bit. His arms encircled the boys torso with haste, and he gently buried his head onto Tuberose’s chest, shutting his eyes as the other talked. After a moment he felt the boy let go, and instinctively he had to as well. He felt his blush stick onto his cheeks for a moment, but then Tuberose was talking again. Aubrey was smiling full now, the hug really getting to him and making the happiness from deep inside him drip out. He smiled to the boy and nodded.

“Thank you…and yeah, uhm…hold on…you said you never heard on up close…here, I’ll play you something…” He gave the boy another tentative smile before gently getting out his competition piece, his NYSSMA piece. He placed the six page paper on the stand, folding it so only three pages hung delicately over the metal. He sat down quietly, grabbing hold of the instrument and the bow before taking in a sigh, placing one eloquent hand on the fingerboard of the instrument and one on the bow. In a short moment, his arms were moving. The piece started out slow and gracious, but soon it had picked up tempo. Every measure Aubrey got a little faster, and every measure got a little bit more complicated. In a matter of a minute the piece was moving at a dangerously fast pace, and Aubrey’s fingers were gliding across the fingerboard like it was made of butter. Complicated rhythms spilled out from the strings, and the deep gashes within Aubrey’s hands began to open up once more. But he didn’t stop. He never stopped. His face contorted slightly in pain, for just a short moment, before he was fine once more. The song that was being played was one of all emotions. It held sadness within its melody, but yet harmony at the same time; such a complicated piece for such simple feelings. Gradually, the piece began to slow as Aubrey neared the end of the third page in a matter of minutes. His movements became more exasperated as the song began to drip with such a slow sorrow, it was simply breathtaking. He let his bow move slower and slower, until finally he inched to the last note, a deep one on his lowest string. He let his wrist move back and forth in a delicate vibrato, causing the note to hum and sing into the air, before dying off slowly…disappearing in seconds. Aubrey gently put the cello down and stood up, putting the bow onto the stand.

“U-ugh…so yeah…sorry if I was really bad…” He gave another small smile, feeling his fingers sting slightly. Then, ever so hesitantly, feeling awkward as he stood; the boy moved forward, letting his arms gently encircle around the boy once more, hugging him close as a small sigh left his lips, eyes closing gently afterwards.

“Sorry…I like hugging you…” He felt the blush return, but he wouldn’t move unless the other boy told him to.

Aubrey was too happy, too comfortable to remove himself at this point.

And he liked it.

[/size]

[tuberose dom helheim]

____________________________________________

Tuberose stared at Aubrey with his mouth hanging wide open. His eyes were huge as he stood there, unblinking, as the other boy put down the instrument. How the hell had the kid done that? Tuberose couldn't even begin to understand the music he had just heard. It had been something totally amazing, and something that Tuberose had never really experienced before. Sure, he liked music of all sorts, but he generally gravitated towards jazz and swing, for some strange reason. He just loved the sound of it, and subconsciously it must have been able to settle him down more so than any other genre. But what Aubrey had just played on the cello-thing had truly been something Tuberose had never heard before. Or rather, he had never actually paid any attention to the haunting sounds and melodies of any cello piece. Staring at Aubrey, Tuberose was shocked when the other kid said it was no good. Why would he even begin to think that? What, did he play with his ears closed or something? Was that even possible---to close your ears? Tuberose stood there, mouth open and eyes wide, confusion hitting him from every single train of thought.

He didn't even notice at first when Aubrey moved to hug him, his mind still stuck on the other boy's performance. Tuberose hugged back, his mind elsewhere yet still capable of the function. Normally, he was a terrible multitasker, especially when one of the tasks was using his brain to reason something out, but he managed to hug the smaller boy back. Of course Tuberose didn't mind. He loved hugs with a passion. In fact, hugging was one of his most favorite activities! Hugs always made people feel better, and that was a fact, and Tuberose practically worshiped the art of hugging because of that. Growing up, Tuberose could never stand to see other's in pain or upset. Maybe it was because his parents had always given him whatever he wanted, and had always made sure the young kid was happy. For a while he had lived in his own little bubble, but then his parents had another child, and everything had changed. Bryony, Tuberose's late brother, had been born with a mild case of pervasive development disorder, which had made him slightly different from other kids his age. Tuberose hadn't been able to watch his brother suffer in life, though, and the two kids had quickly bonded. And then the accident had happened, and Bryony had suddenly been ripped away from him. Things quickly changed for Tuberose after that, but one things stayed the same. He absolutely detested seeing people upset for whatever reason.

Hugging Aubrey, Tuberose was glad that the other kid liked hugging too. He didn't know what he would do with a friend who didn't. Of course there were always those people who were strange and disliked physical contact. Some people even looked at him weird when he hugged his friends, but Tuberose didn't really care. He never really did. What fun was life if you lived it beneath the shadow of others? "Hugging is like the greatest thing on the planet. I'd be scared if you didn't like it!" Tuberose gave the boy a tight squeeze before letting go, taking one step back to allow some space between them. "Like really. Only monsters and demons don't like hugging."

That was when Tuberose remembered what Audrey had just done on his cello, and all his previous thoughts began flooding back into his mind. "And you played that thing like some sort of beast, Aubrey! That was amazing! How could you even think that you could be bad?" Tuberose asked, his eyes conveying is obvious disbelief. "How did you even do that? Are you like some sort of cello ninja who trains in a secret society of pure awesomeness?" Tuberose had heard some of the band people play who attended Belmont. Most of them sucked. Like hardcore. It almost scared him sometimes how terrible people could be at playing an instrument, and yet still try to be better. Sometimes there was just a point where giving up was just better than pursuing a skill you obviously did not posses. But Aubrey? He had the most talent that Tuberose had probably ever seen. Of course, Tuberose wasn't the expert on music or anything. In fact, he had never even really picked one up before. Although he had some mad skills on the kazoo . . . It wasn't anything to brag about. "So how long have you been doing this?" Tuberose asked, his curiosity getting to him. He couldn't really understand how someone like Aubrey could possibly put themselves through so much pain---the lacerations on his fingers evidence to such pain---even for a result like Aubrey's skill. It just amazed him that someone could be so dedicated. Tuberose had always been the type of person to quite something if it got too challenging, and for Tuberose, that meant that if any work was necessary, he usually gave up before he even began. Aubrey truly amazed him. Not in the way to where Tuberose felt intimidated by the boy's skill, but in a way that it made Tuberose happy for the other kid. He wondered what it felt like to have something that he was truly good at . . . Tuberose didn't think being a complete goof ball, or failing classes, or even being extremely friendly counted. Tuberose smiled at Aubrey, his smile big as he looked at the boy.

_________________________________

notes ||hugs are very nice!
tags ||Aubrey Dechanté
word count ||nine two two
outfit ||clickitifyoudare
lyrics ||middle class rut---new low

[/size][/center]

[aubrey rein dechanté]

Aubrey didn’t understand a lot of things, and right now, this would be one of them. He looked at Tuberose for a moment after he was finished. The boy seemed like…like he was in his own little world. Had he never heard a Cello before? Had he never heard someone play it? He had to of, it was just…impossible really, for someone to now notice a Cello in some type of music! They were everywhere! Despite this, he let his arms latch onto the boy, and when he felt him hug back, the largest smile spread across Aubrey’s face. He never really got affection from people…it was always one of those rare things he never wanted to give up. That was probably why Aubrey latched onto the boy so much. He never really did want to let go, but he always knew that there was an end to hugs. He listened to the boy though, and it seemed that Tuberose liked hugs…and affection…so would he not mind? Maybe he wouldn’t care if Aubrey didn’t let go of him…or just never really ever let go. Aubrey felt him squeeze tight for a moment, and he squeezed back, not wanting to let go. He couldn’t ignore the disappointment that washed over his entire small being as the boy pulled away, but Aubrey did as was appropriate and brought his sleeve into his mouth to chew on it lightly.

He let a small giggle burst through his frame from the boy’s words about hugging, before focusing on his other sentences. He listened and laughed from the beast comment, but then a frown gently seeped onto his features. Tuberose asked…how Aubrey thought he was bad…well, it was very simple really. His mother. His mother always told him he was no good and that he needed to be better. He never liked hearing it, but he could never ignore the memories of her from replaying over and over in his mind. “You’re no good! Do better! Be better!”

[/i] The words of his mother had left a permanent scar in his mind. It was something that scorned the most inner sanctums of his brain, and it made his face contort into one of pain for a moment, before he caught himself and quickly fixed it. Aubrey took his sleeve out of his mouth for a moment, letting his eyes wander down to the ground before speaking in a small, low voice.

“Mother says I am bad. Mother says I need to be better. She says I can do better.” He spoke softly for a moment, his right foot taking an involuntary step towards the boy again. Aubrey hated talking about his mother, and the things she said, the things shed done; but he knew he had to. He needed to cope with it somehow, and for some reason he felt like he could deal with it…as long as Tuberose was around. He felt like he could take on all the things she said…all the horrid and vile words she poured into his ears…just as long as Tuberose didn’t leave, he would be all right. The truth was, Aubrey didn’t know how to deal with his feelings. He didn’t know how to deal with the constant nag of not being good enough in the back of his mind. He didn’t know how to deal with the sting of guilt within his heart from his father’s death. He didn’t know how to deal with quite any of this, and so he did the only thing he knew how to do; he latched onto support. It was the only viable option to Aubrey. It was the only thing that allowed him time to grow and heal, because every time he was by himself…he didn’t heal, he got worse. He picked out every single flaw in everything he did, and that was one of his biggest mistakes in life. He knew deep down he should not be focusing on such petty and trivial things like he did…but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t deal with anything anymore, and so this is why he was always hugging someone. This is why he didn’t want to let go of Tuberose, because he didn’t want to acknowledge the pain. Slowly, cautiously, he walked up to the boy again. He let his arms encircle him as his head dipped down onto his chest, hugging him close, keeping his eyes out of sight as tears gently pooled on them and spilled over.

“M-mother says I’m a mistake…and I need to fix the mistake…by playing better…by being better. She wants me to play, and play, and keep playing…until I am nothing.” He spoke his mothers’ bitter words, letting his voice drop down low at the last ending of the sentence, letting his tears drift and fall down his cheeks slowly, staining his shirt very little.

“W-when I am nothing…then…then she won’t hate me anymore.” He nodded gently into the boys’ shirt, his arms squeezing him tight, fingers enclosing gently on the fabric of the boy’s shirt. He just needed Tuberose to be here. He just needed the boy to stand there…to let Aubrey hug him, to let him tell him everything about his life.

He just wanted to feel affection from the boy.

Affection he never got to feel before.[/blockquote][/size]

[tuberose dom helheim]

____________________________________________

Tuberose wanted the boy to keep smiling. He wanted to watch the kid be happy and laugh. He wanted them to talk about the most randomest of topics, and to enjoy doing so. He did not, however, want to watch as Aubrey's face slowly crumpled, as if some physical force were pushing down on him with all it's might. Tuberose wanted to turn away from the sad expression on the other boy's face, knowing all too well what was to come. Sadness. Hurt. It was all something that Tuberose had gone through before. He had learned to deal with it after his brother's death, but that didn't mean that he wanted to revel in pain anymore. For all he cared, Tuberose was done with caring. But it was obvious that something was wrong with Aubrey, and that he wasn't. And Tuberose definitely didn't want to see Aubrey upset. He didn't know exactly why; maybe it was because Tuberose really didn't like seeing anyone frowning. Or could it be because he actually really did like the kid before him? They'd only been together for what---half a lunch period? And yet Tuberose already felt a tug at his heart when Aubrey frowned and took a step towards him. Tuberose cautiously rose one eyebrow, wondering what the sudden mood change could have been caused by. But when Aubrey started talking, he wished that he hadn't wondered. It was obvious from the start that Aubrey was in pain. Tuberose didn't like that. Shaking his head slightly, he allowed Aubrey to take hold of him once more. "Aubrey---I---I don't know what to say," he stuttered out, for once not knowing what was appropriate in this situation.

That never happened to Tuberose. Ever. He was supposed to be the one who could pull out a funny comment or a joke whenever conversations turned down roads he didn't want to go. He was always the one to offer up a fake smile or a lame joke, just for the sake of happiness and peace. And yet, Tuberose felt that he couldn't do that to Aubrey. Aubrey's arms around him said that much. This boy needed something from him, and whether that was to be silent and absorb Aubrey's troubles or to allow him something to anchor himself to, Tuberose didn't care. All he knew was that if he was truly going to be Aubrey's friend, he owed that much to him. Tuberose hugged the other boy close. Aubrey's words were entirely foreign to Tuberose. He couldn't comprehend how someone's mother could say those terrible things. How could a mother tell her son that he was a mistake? His whole life, Tuberose had been raised by caring and kind parents. They might have been absent from his life often, busy with work or with friends or some other arrangement, but they had been there. When he got boo-boos from playing like a typical little boy, his mother would give him band aids and a kiss to make it all better. When he had been six and afraid of the dark, his dad had protected him from all the closet monsters. When his brother had came, both of his parents had done their best to make him feel just as loved as the new baby. Tuberose couldn't possibly understand how someone's own family could say the things that Aubrey was telling him.

"If you want to talk about this," Tuberose said, his voice quieter than it normally was, the boys desperate words scaring Tuberose. "We can. Or, we could always find some rabid squirrel to chase to take your mind off of this, if you want?" Tuberose tried to smile, to laugh, but it came out weaker than he had planned for it. He wanted to take the boys mind off of his troubles; it did nothing to think about pain. Tuberose figured that the more you ignored a problem, the less noticeable it became until you were able to completely block it out of your life. However, Tuberose's philosophy rarely worked. Even with himself. "Whatever you want, Aubrey, I'm here for you." His words were true, even if Tuberose thought they were a little on the cheesy side. Tuberose did want to believe that he would help his new friend in whatever way he could, but the fear of the reality was much stronger than anything else. Aubrey needed someone who could help him get through . . . whatever he was going through. Not only was Tuberose not the most responsible person in the world, he hated being put into situations where he had pressure. And right now, as he looked down at the small boy in his arms, Tuberose felt intense pressure in his chest, rising, and telling him to make his friend happy again. Except Tuberose didn't know if he could. There were problem's in Aubrey's life, obviously, that went beyond Tuberose's control.

And that was when it started to make since to Tuberose. Aubrey was telling this to him because he needed support more than anything. The only responsibility Tuberose had right now was to be a friend; a responsibility that wasn't as scary as the others to Tuberose. Smiling faintly, Tuberose stroked Aubrey's dark hair as if he were calming a small child. "Whatever you're going through, it must be some serious hell. All I can tell you is that to me, you're absolutely amazing. I mean we just met---and I already freakin' think you're one of the most amazing people here." Tuberose smiled at Aubrey. It was true Tuberose realized with a sudden jolt. He had many many friends, and yet Aubrey seemed different from them all. He had his real friends, his fake friends, his acquaintances, and then the people he just burrowed pencils from in class. Aubrey, a new kid at Belmont who he'd known for a total of mere minutes, had already managed to sneak his way into Tuberose's heart. Tuberose hugged the boy, knowing that he would stand there as long as Aubrey needed him to.

_________________________________

notes ||oh, aubrey! and sorry this is sorta late. busy week.
tags ||Aubrey Dechanté
word count ||one oh one oh
outfit ||clickitifyoudare
lyrics ||middle class rut---new low

[/size][/center]

[aubrey rein dechanté]

Aubrey wasn’t surprised when he heard Tuberose say that he didn’t in fact know what to say. He nodded gently into the boy’s chest, shutting his eyes tight, not wanting to open them, and not wanting the boy to see the tears ready to completely drain from his body. That was the thing with Aubrey; that was his Achilles heel. He kept every single thing he felt inside himself, and therefore when it all pooled up and spilled out…he didn’t know how to handle it. Like right now, he didn’t know what to do, what to say; he knew he had to apologize though. He knew he needed to say sorry for being a burden. For being a bother, because that’s all he ever was. He never really liked himself for it. He never liked the way he felt after crying to someone or telling someone everything he kept to himself for oh so long; but he knew he had to do it. He knew he had to keep it all inside because if he let it out…if he let it all come flooding out…he would lose people. He was scared of losing Tuberose now, because everything was out in the open…all his wounds were in the open now. He let his arms move tighter around the boy, just a little, just to make himself feel like Tuberose would stay. There was fear in the way Aubrey moved. There was always fear in every single one of his tiny movements, but the next one…there was more fear in this one then he thought possible.

His hand retreated to his eyes, wiping them swiftly to make sure all the traces of tears on his cheeks were gone, before he moved a centimeter back and tilted his head up. His eyes were glassy and red probably, but he just wanted to say one small thing. His hand gently moved up, and with the lightest of touches he gently moved some hair out of the boys’ face before speaking in a small tone.

“I-I’m sorry. P-please don’t l-leave.” That was what scared Aubrey the most. The idea of the boy leaving. The idea of Tuberose just picking his things up and running off. It would probably be the smartest choice…but for Aubrey…it was also the most painful choice. He knew that if right now, if the boy just got up and left…he knew things wouldn’t end badly, and that was why he latched onto him so hard. He let his index finger gently move over the boy’s forehead, trailing down the side of his face, his eyes following the digit as it moved slowly over the boy’s features. He let it trail down his cheek and then move to his neck, gently finding its way down to his chest before finally pulling away, the boy sighing small and keeping his eyes on Tuberose’s clothing rather than his face. The boy was significantly taller than Aubrey…but he liked that. It made it easier for the boy to lean on him, to hug him and latch on; it made him happier for some odd reason. Aubrey let a tiny sigh pass through his lips once more, before smiling small. The boy’s words made him feel better…it was odd how Tuberose always knew what to say to make him feel better.

“I’m sorry…you always seem to know…what to say…to make me smile…” He felt his smile grow further as he thought about the boy for a moment. He let his troubles gently sink away again, burying them beneath everything else he felt at the moment. He looked back up to the boy when he said he would do whatever Aubrey wanted to. He gave him a ‘are you sure’ look, before gently poking at the boy’s side.

“C-could we sit d-down…?” He felt a small blush light up his cheeks as the question left his mouth delicately. He smiled to the boy once more, letting his arms move back around him and hug him close, nestling his head into the boy’s chest and shutting his eyes. He felt a darker blush move over his features as the other boy talked. Aubrey was barely able to stutter out a thank you, but nonetheless, he got it out.

“T-thanks…s-same goes for y-you.” He nodded gently into the boy’s chest, not really wanting to move from the spot he was on, but wanting to sit down as well.

Whichever option the boy chose, he didn’t want to leave the boy’s arms.

He didn’t want to lose the feeling of perfection anytime soon.

[/size]

OOC: It is perfectly fine ^-^ Sorry if this is short and gross though D;