if today was your last day [jenna taylor]

[rigg]

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

[/color][/size]
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?[/i][/size]
Would you live each moment like your last?[/size][/b]
Leave old pictures in the past?[/size][/i][/center]

Pain. It all hurt soooo bad. It was dark in the room and Rigg could feel every ounce of his body in pain. It wasn't just his body that was in pain, it was his emotional health too. He'd destroyed his relationship with Jenna and he was feeling pretty terrible about that. He hadn't spoken to her in weeks but that was in his own fault. He had cheated on her whether he meant to or not; he still had cheated on her. Rigg had burned whatever had been holding the two of them together. If Jenna still wanted him, he'd be honestly surprised. Guilt wasn't the only thing eating at him. He was super sick and it was hurting every bone and muscle in his body. He felt soooo soooo sick. Majority of the time, he wanted to die it hurt so bad. His room mate, Benjamin, was honestly worried about him. Rigg could see it even though Mr. Ben tried to hide it from him. When one was stuck in bed all the time, one tended to notice everything. He saw every sad look Ben shot his way and Rigg was worried about what his room mate thought was wrong with him... Was his room mate planning to take him to some mental specialist because he thought Rigg was sick because of his melt down with Jenna? It could, he supposed, be just that but he very much doubted it. He felt that he was truly sick.

Mr. Rigg Damien Eastwood tried to get up but he fell back on his pillows. He was weak and his muscles were failing him. He felt pathetic and he felt vulnerable. He had never, ever had this happen to him. His body had never not cooperated with him to this degree before. It scared him shitless. What was wrong with him? Was the depression making him overly sick? Was this deep sickness all in his head? He couldn't help but think maybe it was in his head. He knew that's what Ben thought and Rigg was starting to kind of believe it. He hadn't been in school for a week and a half. He was bruised from the neck down. Even the smallest bump against something caused a nasty bruise wherever he'd been bumped. He couldn't eat because the mere thought of eating made him sick to his stomach. He would give anything to die right now. The pain was consuming him it seemed. He hadn't left his bed for the week and a half he hadn't been at school. He'd been too sick to do so. He just didn't care about living anymore. He wanted to curl up in a ball and just fade away. There was no point in living anymore. He'd screwed everything up and now all he felt was pain. On top of that, he was so, so, so sick.

Rigg was hurting. The pain was being amplified for some reason and he clenched his teeth from the pain of it. He was never one to make his pain known. If Ben knew the real extent of his pain, he'd call Jenna or something and guilt trip the girl. Rigg didn't feel the need to guilt trip Jenna. It was him that needed to be guilt tripped. Plus, why would it be Jenna's fault he was suffering from such depression and sickness. Ben walked into Rigg's room and Rigg wanted to throw up at the smell of the steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup. Ben was going to try to force the young man with tattoos to eat. Rigg felt no reason to comply; the food would just come straight back up. His body didn't want to eat and, thus, Mr. Eastwood did not want to eat. Ben spoke, "Rigg, buddy, you gotta eat. You AT LEAST have to get up... You can't stay in bed forever." Rigg wanted to get up but he just didn't have the strength anymore. He felt light headed from just sitting up, much less standing up and food was not a good idea. Rigg replied very weakly and faintly, "I can't..."

[/color] He caught the pained look on Ben's face and Rigg felt bad instantly. Ben had been slaving away for Rigg's expense for a week and a half and now Rigg was refusing to eat the food Ben had just made for him.

Ben grabbed Rigg's hand and lifted him up. "We're going to the hospital Rigg. This isn't like you at all. You CAN'T just lay in bed forever and hope it goes away." Rigg sighed. He hated the doctor. They gave these awful medicines that Rigg always refused to take like the ones for his severe ADHD that hadn't been kicking for a while. He didn't want to go to the hospital. He hated the hospital and all the doctors inside. He had no fight left in him though and Ben was already trying to get him up. Rigg stumbled and immediately felt like he was going to pass out. His muscles looked stringy and he had serious bags under his eyes. His skin looked "flabby" and he had lost weight. His ribs were easily see-able. He caught his appearance in the mirror and almost dropped to the floor from the shock. Ben kept him up though. Rigg was just in a pair of plain black sweats and a gray t-shirt. He was, obviously, barefoot. He was already sweating from the exertion of moving and he hadn't even left his own bedroom. He wanted to cry from his pathetic-ness. He hated his own weakness. He just leaned against Ben and hung there for a moment. Ben started to move and Rigg kept with him extremely weakly but he kept a hand on Ben's shoulders. His legs did want to move despite how weak the muscles were.

They made it to the front door and Rigg was almost crying from the sheer pain of moving. He hadn't bothered to stop for his shoes. He figured the hospital would be upset that he was bare foot but he didn't care. Ben opened the door and Rigg wanted to gag on the smell of "fresh" air. He hadn't had fresh air in forever and now it felt horrible in his lungs. His lungs didn't like him much. Ben helped him step out and the cement felt rough and cold on his now sensitive feet. He wanted to collapse but he did make it to the car. He kept the window open so that he could throw up outside instead of in Ben's really nice truck. Ben kept glancing at him worriedly and when Ben turned on the music that Rigg liked, Rigg shut it off. It was giving him a headache. They pulled into the hospital parking lot and Rigg wanted to smack Ben already. He didn't want to go in that squeaky clean place and he definitely did not want to deal with the needles and crap that was located in there. He didn't want to see his blood be carried off in little tubes to be tested. He didn't want ANY of that because it would make him sick to his stomach. Ben helped him in there and judging Rigg's condition, the front desk lady got him a room before anybody else. Rigg regretted the glance around the waiting room. Many people looked AWFUL. He sighed but made his way to his room, following the nurse, with Ben's help. He sat down and they took various tests. Rigg hated them all.

Now, there was the waiting. Rigg hated waiting and it was possible that it was because of his ADHD but he wanted the nurse to come back and tell him everything was okay and that he just needed bed rest. He drummed his weak, bony looking fingers and still caught Ben glancing at him worriedly. Rigg felt sick with all the cleanliness and most of all, the smell of all those different medicines. Finally, the door opened slowly and a tall, muscular looking doctor walked in... Rigg didn't like the look on his face. It was a grave look that said, "sorry, but you've got some awful disease that's most likely going to kill you". Rigg immediately looked down at his feet and Ben was summoned out of the room. That was when the boy with tattoos knew for a fact something was seriously wrong with him. He started to panic but he also felt more sick. He wanted to just curl in a ball and just die. Why couldn't he die? Ben came back in with the big doctor looking stony faced. Ben never had a face of stone. Rigg started sweating from the horrible anticipation. The doctor spoke finally but in a whispery voice that Rigg didn't like either, "Rigg Eastwood... You've got Leukemia." Rigg immediately felt numb. His throat tightened and his eyes immediately felt extremely dry. His muscles clenched and there was a look of pure terror on his face. Leukemia killed all sorts of people and worst of all... Made them go BALD. Rigg did not think he'd look hot bald personally.

He saw Ben's worried glance but Rigg ignored it like he'd done with the rest of Ben's looks. Rigg, instead, spoke hoarsely to the doctor, "Are you sure you've got the right person? You didn't make a mistake?"[/color] The doctor shook his head, unable to answer him with words. Rigg had known it was the answer but, none the less, he'd hoped. He'd set his hopes a little too high and now he was more disappointed than he should be. Rigg got up and stumbled out the door. He couldn't handle this... Ben followed him and Rigg found his way to the car. Ben already had the schedule of his first chemotherapy treatment. Rigg was not exactly looking forward to that at all. He didn't even want to look when it was. He clumsily opened the passenger side. He was at a loss for words but when Ben climbed in, they didn't move. Ben didn't pull out of the parking lot even though Rigg wanted to be as far away from the hospital as he could get. He hated everything in that place and he would for a long time to come. Rigg whispered, "I have to see Jenna. I have to Ben."[/color] Ben shook his head and asked, "You really think she needs to know that right now? You guys are pissed at each other, remember?" Rigg's temper flared right then. "I don't FUCKING care. I HAVE to talk to Jenna, Ben. I HAVE to talk to her."[/color] Ben just sighed but he pulled out of the parking lot, hopefully towards the school.

Rigg trembled in his seat. He was so scared and he hoped Jenna wouldn't freak out on him. He needed someone to be strong and Ben wasn't exactly doing a good job of that. Rigg knew that Ben wouldn't be himself for a long time but he also knew that Jenna wasn't going to be the one that was strong... Despite the fact that he loved Jenna, he knew that she was not going to be able to handle what was going on with him. Who could really? Rigg felt sick again and rolled down his window when he saw the school in sight. He checked the time and realized school was over. Maybe Jenna would be at cheerleading practice? Ben parked his truck and Rigg clumsily climbed out. He put his hand on the door to steady himself. He had to do this without Ben. Rigg was still numb and he was terrified from the news. He wanted to die rather than tell Jenna but Jenna needed to know. He practically crawled to the football field, desperately hoping that Jenna was there. He saw cheerleaders and the thought filled him with hope. He made his way into the bleachers with his face looking haggard and a couple of the cheerleaders pointed at him and bothered Jenna. Rigg didn't even try to smile. He didn't have good news on his plate and she would hate it but he had to tell her. He wasn't sure why. "Jenna....We have to talk." The words were whispery and hollow. Rigg felt like he was dying on the inside.
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jenna rianne taylor]

It had literally been weeks since the last time Jenna had spoken two words to Rigg... she absolutely hated it. She had forgotten how much she really depended on Rigg's communication until it was completely cut off. The last time they spoke though, it didn't really end on a good note: Rigg had told Jenna he slept with Emily while he was drunk, Jenna hated Emily of course but it went passed that. Rigg was her's, and it made her extremely jealous to think that Emily had slept with her unofficial boyfriend before Jenna herself did. Emily would always have that to hold against Jenna as she pleased. Emily didn't matter though, Rigg mattered and as much as he apologized and did all he could, all Jenna could do was just cry, later telling him to 'please leave'. And that was the last time they talked.

The thing that got Jenna worried though was the fact that Rigg stopped coming to school. She had no idea where he was or what he was doing. Crazy rumors were flying throughout the school about Jenna and Rigg's "breakup" and the later mess of it all, and Rigg not coming to school only fueled the fire. Jenna so badly wanted to get in contact with him, but of course she was stubborn and told herself that if Rigg really wanted to talk to her he would get in contact with her. God, she'd do anything to rewind time to that day at her apartment when she found the hickey on Rigg's neck. Jenna wished she could take it back and just ignore it, she'd continue to kiss his neck instead and not bring it up. Then, Rigg would have eventually cracked and told her what happened and Jenna would have handled it maturely, nodding her head and adding in a simple shrug and a "Shit happens" after a small laugh. Why did she have to blow everything out of proportion? Oh, right, because she was in love with him.

Jenna didn't know what it was, but she was obviously still head over heels for the tattooed junior, and probably still would be no matter what happened. Although it didn't show very much, the lack of communication with Rigg was killing Jenna and inwardly it was driving her into a depression. Rigg had always been there to brighten up her mood and put a smile on her face, but now he wasn't even there to say one word to her. Rigg never stayed mad at Jenna, especially not longer than a week, and this was well over a week. Could this really be it? God, Jenna hoped not. On the outside, Jenna continued to put up her normal, fun-loving happy girl front that she often displayed, but on the inside Jenna was crumbling with worry and fear. How was Rigg just missing school with no desire to talk to Jenna at all about it? It was bizarre and so... unlike him.

Cheer was a good way to get Jenna's mind off of things though, that was part of the reason why Jenna gathered the majority of the junior girls on the varsity squad and called a practice after school that day. She needed to work on stunt groups, but also Jenna needed to focused her mind and energy on something a little more... positive, before she completely broke down. She could call a practice for the juniors, because she was the junior captain, but not the seniors- she didn't handle them. Besides, she figured Brooke would be impressed if she whipped the junior girls into shape a bit.

Most of the girls in Jenna's stunt group were seniors, so she figured she would work on her back-handsprings and aerials while the other juniors did their thing. Jenna loved the warm weather with a slight breeze that proved autumn was not that out of reach. Her long hair was pulled back in a loose french braid and she wore black shorts and a white and black "Belmont Cheerleading" practice shirt.

She called break and walked over close to the bleachers where her water bottle was then turned her body to face the field. It wasn't too long after one of the redheaded girls on the squad gasped then giggled. "I knew it wouldn't be too long before this started back up," The girl jeered as another girl smirked and joined in, "Hey Jen, you didn't tell us you two were together again...?" A confused look crossed Jenna's face as she turned around to face the bleachers again.

Rigg. That was all that went through her mind. There he was, standing right there before her. He looked thin and his face was grave. I didn't bear it's usual silly grin and his eyes looked dull, lacking it's typical glint of happiness. Jenna's heart raced as she looked up to see Rigg standing on the bleachers. "Rigg!" She spoke surprised but her voice was only a little above a whisper; for once feeling nervous to be in Rigg's presence. Maybe it was because this didn't exactly feel like Rigg standing in front of her. It was like someone completely different in Rigg's body. "Uh, yeah, of course we do," Jenna agreed, sitting her water bottle on the ground and making her way off the field and a little away from where the gate was, knowing Rigg would follow her. Jenna was scared, to say the least.

[rigg]

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

[/color][/size]
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?[/i][/size]
Would you live each moment like your last?[/size][/b]
Leave old pictures in the past?[/size][/i][/center]

Seeing Jenna made Rigg feel all sorts of emotions that he had never wanted to feel. He now felt a full degree of pain seeing her again. What if she hated him? They hadn't talked in weeks and then Rigg had disappeared from school for a week and a half without a word. That would be enough to make Mr. Eastwood mad... But mostly it would scare the shit out of him if Jenna had done to him what he had done to her. Had he scared her? He didn't really know. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. The sheer exertion of just standing here was killing him. Happy Rigg was gone right now. He was hollow and terrified inside. Rigg was almost regretting ever coming here. Why would Jenna care that he was sick? He'd destroyed anything they had had by getting wasted and getting laid by her worst enemy. He was really going to hurt her today even though he now didn't want to. He couldn't just walk away now. He couldn't leave her feeling confused like that...

Pain smothered him in waves it seemed. Was God punishing him for hurting Jenna so bad? It seemed so. Rigg Damien Eastwood already hated himself... God thought it'd be cool to give him... No, he couldn't say the word to himself. It'd make it true. His face was pale and he didn't want to be standing up. He wanted to curl back up in his bed and let the...sickness... do it's thing... Kill him. It would be excruciating but he seriously just wanted to die. Rigg didn't want to cause more pain for Jenna than he already had. Why had he felt the need to come talk to Jenna about it? Was it because she was all he had other than Ben? Did he really depend on her that much? Obviously so, because he'd been freak depressed for a while now and now he was here about to make her freak out. Why was he always screwing with her?

Rigg Damien Eastwood had no energy left. He ignored the other cheerleaders and followed Jenna, stumbling a few times. His legs no longer wanted to hold him up. He sat down on the ground next to her, not caring that it was odd. He wrapped his thin, unhealthy looking arms around his thin, unhealthy looking legs and looked up at the girl he loved and cared about so dearly. He was having trouble coming up with words. He got back up though, deciding he needed to be eye level with her when the evil words were finally spoken. Terror could easily be seen on his face as well as the freaky emotion of "all was lost". He had no faith that he would survive his ordeal. He knew it was going to be long and painful but he figured he'd die in the end. There was no fight on his face like there usually was. He'd truly given up.

Rigg was already listing things that he had to give away in his "will". He already had decided his guitar was going to Jenna even though she couldn't play it. It was pretty much the most memorable thing about him. He didn't know what to do with the rest of his crap. He supposed he ought to give all his teachers his unfinished homework and their textbooks. Yes, he'd definitely put that on his will. They needed his homework for sure. What else did he own? His cd's could go to anyone, he didn't care. His money... Cancer treatment. His motorcycle could go to Ben. The rest of his stuff could go to whoever. He just didn't care who it went to. Really, all Rigg cared about right now was that his life was on the line and this his hair was going to fall out. Who could love Rigg when he was bald? He very much preferred himself with LOTS of hair. He missed it already and it wasn't even gone yet.

Then he realized he hadn't said anything. Rigg leaned on her because his legs were shaking from their weakness. He sighed and then spoke, with an extremely hoarse voice, "Jenna..." He swallowed and let himself breathe some air for a moment. He was so fragile right now; she could seriously do anything she wanted with him and he'd go with it. He knew that boys didn't usually lean on girls but he didn't want to be seated when he told her that he had a horrible sickness that would probably, if not definitely, kill him. He spoke, his voice even more hoarse and hollow then it was before. "I'm sick Jenna. Really sick... Ben took me to the hospital today..." He sighed. Now he was avoiding saying that word because it would definitely make it true. "I got diagnosed with Leukemia today..."

[/b] He hated the word. It tasted bad in his mouth.
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jenna rianne taylor]

Rigg's face was completely flushed and Jenna was starting to get extremely worried about what was going on. Why was Rigg acting like this? He looked so... sick. Sick was an understatement for Rigg's appearance at that moment though, it was unlike anything Jenna had seen before. First of all, it was unlike Rigg to not speak to her for over a week, then get her out of cheer practice randomly because they "needed to talk", and his appearance was so off as well. Jenna didn't know what was going on, but it was obvious she wouldn't like the answer.

As the dark-headed junior leaned on Jenna she furrowed her thin eyebrows in concern, surveying his frail body then resting her hazel eyes on his own, drooping ones. She would have given anything for Rigg to just be in his normal state again, asking her what she did while they were apart after she puckered her lips out in a form of asking for a kiss as she typically did. It was clear though that this wasn't going to be one of those times, and it scared Jenna to say the least.

She fixed her eyes on the tattoos on Rigg's arm, the one that wasn't against her body. Jenna studied the tattoos as Rigg spoke, sort of in an attempt to calm her worrying mind. She was still listening to Rigg of course, but she couldn't seem to hold contact with those eyes that didn't seem as if they belonged to her Rigg. Jenna's Rigg was bright and bubbly and goofy, the complete opposite that he appeared before her then.

And then he said it.
He told her he went to the doctor today,
and that he was... sick? That he had been diagnosed with... leukemia. Jenna's heart dropped and she felt like she was just punched in the stomach by a professional boxer as hard as he possibly could hit. Suddenly Jenna felt dizzy. Was this a dream? She knew what leukemia was, she knew what it entailed and she knew that the survival rate of the disease was not high at all. Jenna could barely handle her life without Rigg for a week, let alone forever. God, she was going to get sick.

Jenna held back tears that she knew would eventually surface, but for now she had to be strong. She knew Rigg was worried enough and she didn't want to bawl and scream and yell and sob just yet, that wouldn't do anything. "Oh my god, Rigg..." Jenna's voice cracked before she laced her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. Rigg wasn't extremely tall, but he was taller than her and Jenna's head rested perfectly against his chest. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes for a bit, trying to bask in the moment as much as possible. Jenna couldn't imagine things being any different than they were now, she couldn't imagine Rigg gone.

"I love you, so much Rigg Eastwood," Jenna spoke quietly, her eyes still shut and her head pressed against his chest, "We'll get through this, together. I don't ever want to leave you." Jenna's words were sincere, in a mix of both fear and somewhat relief that Rigg and her weren't completely over and done. Rigg honestly meant so much to Jenna, and she wanted to be there with him through all of this. She'd do everything in her power to make this easier on Rigg, he deserved that much.

[rigg]

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

[/color][/size]
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?[/i][/size]
Would you live each moment like your last?[/size][/b]
Leave old pictures in the past?[/size][/i][/center]

Rigg wanted to turn to dust. Dust didn't feel pain, did it? Pain was no fun and he didn't understand how people purposely made themselves feel pain for the fun of it or whatever. He especially disliked those games where people raced to pass out first or whatever. Idiots. Rigg wanted to escape the pain more than anything and he couldn't. He had months of chemotherapy ahead of him and probably a death ahead of him too. He was quite sure he was going to die. He knew the survival rates of Leukemia patients; Leukemia was one of the most fatal cancers there was. The thought of that made him feel more sickened. Why him?

Mr. Eastwood no longer felt like Jenna was the fragile one. He'd always considered her more fragile and breakable than himself. Now, Rigg felt like the most vulnerable person in the world. He didn't have the energy to run away from people who wanted to make his life more miserable and he didn't have the energy to even make a comeback if someone insulted him. He just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. He sorely wished that this was all a nightmare. He'd much rather this be a nightmare but he knew that it was all real and he almost cracked right there at the thought. It was real. He hated it; he hated life with a passion right now.

Rigg noticed that Jenna was looking at his tattoos but he didn't care. They were quite noticeable and he wanted to get a tattoo of her name somewhere that hadn't gotten covered with a tattoo yet. He wasn't going to right now. He didn't have the pain tolerance for it at this moment in time. The bright, happy Rigg Damien Eastwood was gone... Probably for a long time to come. He was downright depressed and on top of that, he was sick with some horrible disease. Why was he being punished so badly? He didn't even want to be at school right now. He saw the cheerleaders looking at him curiously but he wasn't going to answer their questions. They'd know soon enough. It wouldn't be hard to tell once his hair was gone.

Rigg searched her face for her reaction. At first, he couldn't see any reaction at all and then he saw the real pain. So she didn't hate him... That was good. He'd been really worried about that. Pain would easily be seen on his face. His body was failing him now. His body was killing him from the inside out, literally. Rigg felt like he was dying already and chemo hadn't even started yet. That wasn't good. How acute was it already? The doctor hadn't told him because Rigg hadn't stayed long enough to hear it. Leukemia had been enough... He didn't want to even know how bad it actually was. That part terrified him. Rigg would see it on Ben's face eventually. He was shaking from the terror. What was he going to do with himself? It wasn't like he could just go to some random roller coaster and live the rest of his short-lived life to the fullest. He was too sick for that...

Was he supposed to just lay in his sick bed until the day he died? He didn't have the energy for much else and he just realized he'd be missing a lot of school. How was he supposed to keep up? Not that it mattered, he was most likely dead anyway. He wouldn't say that out loud because Jenna would get mad but Rigg honestly didn't believe he'd make it. He was so full of doubt. Ben didn't look confident either but Rigg was trying hard to ignore that. He wanted to be optimistic but it was so hard. Optimism was difficult in a situation like this. He heard her voice but it was cracked as he was sure it would be. He was surprised she hadn't broken yet. Maybe she was tougher than he gave her credit for... She seemed tougher than rock right now and he wasn't tough at all. Compared to her rock, he didn't even exist. He had no will to survive anymore. Let death come soon.

Rigg was shocked by her words. She still loved him? Whoa. That brought him out of his evil, suicidal thoughts for a moment but they were not easy to keep away. They came back almost immediately. "Jenna, I love you too."

[/b] Rigg's dull eyes lit up a little bit when he heard the determination in her voice but he didn't believe them really. He had no reason to believe her words. He didn't think he'd survive... As stated before, he knew the survival rate and he had a bad, bad feeling about his sickness. "Jenna. What if I don't make it?" He wanted her to say that she wouldn't give up if he didn't make it. Rigg didn't want her to be depressed forever if he didn't make it; he wanted her to move on. He really wanted her to move on if he didn't make it because he did NOT want to be the cause of deep depression. He could only hope that Mason would be the friend Jenna thought Mason was.
[/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jenna rianne taylor]

A million thoughts were racing through Jenna's mind at that point, the main one of course being what she would do if she really did lose Rigg forever. Jenna was hardly a realist, but she was between a rock and a hard place with this one. She couldn't lose Rigg, she just couldn't. It seemed like everyone she held closest in her heart ended leaving her forever, like her dad, and Jenna couldn't handle it losing Rigg too. Both Rigg and Jenna were typically optimists, but when faced with this it was really hard not to be pessimistic. Why did his have to happen to her? Why Rigg? It didn't make sense. Rigg didn't deserve something like this. It just wasn't fair. Jenna knew this would be a long, hard process to go through but she'd promised Rigg she'd stay by his side the entire time if he allowed her to, though part of her was scared that would only make her more attached. Well, of course she'd be attached to him but what if he passed away? What would she do then?

It was taking everything in Jenna's ability for her not to burst out in hysterics then. She had to be strong, it wasn't an option not to be. She knew Rigg was as worried as she was, so she had to be that comfort he needed most. He can stay with me, I can take care of him, Jenna thought, completely pushing the "don't get too attached" theory out of her mind. It didn't matter, she needed Rigg, and Jenna knew that much was true.

A smile crept on to her face when she heard the sincerity of Rigg saying he loved her. This was definitely new for the two. All Jenna was used to with Rigg was being silly and being herself and goofy, things were never serious or grave between the two. She never had thoughts of the future with Rigg simply because things were never that dull. Could she be with Rigg forever? Of course, but it didn't cross her mind because the two's relationship was so light already. Now that she thought about it, Jenna knew that her relationship with Rigg was love in it's young, sincerest form. They didn't need to glamorize anything or make it out to be deeper than it was, she just enjoyed his company and thought he was the cutest thing she'd ever seen.

Jenna's smile faded slowly whenever she'd taken Rigg's question into consideration once again. What if he didn't make it? What would she do? "Rigg, don't say that," Jenna urged before stepping away from him slightly. She looked up as his eyes met his to convey sincerity, "You will make it. And I'll be here with you."

[rigg]

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

[/color][/size]
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?[/i][/size]
Would you live each moment like your last?[/size][/b]
Leave old pictures in the past?[/size][/i][/center]

Rigg didn't want to be the one that messed up Jenna's life, yet here he was complicating it. He felt like an idiot but he needed a lifeline. He honestly needed a reason to even start chemotherapy at all. Jenna was the only thing that would really keep him going to his own torture. His own personal hell hole. What if he made friends with other cancer patients? What would that be like? It was a bad thing to bond over... Cancer. Evil, evil, evil sickness. He didn't want to make friends with someone because they had cancer. Most of all, he didn't want to be the kid that everybody felt bad for because he had some awful sickness. He wanted to be treated like he'd always been treated by Belmont kids. Rigg already knew that would never, ever happen though. Belmont kids didn't know how to make a cancer kid feel better. Rigg had once been one of those people that didn't know how to make kids with cancer feel better... But he knew exactly how now: to treat 'em no different than they'd been treated before.

Rigg was not going into hysterics any time soon. He was too numb and he was still recovering from the shock of being diagnosed with this awful disease. He felt like there was war being waged in his body. His own body was attempting to kill Rigg. How horrible and revolting was that? Rigg felt like a monster, truth be told. He suddenly had a strong urge to sit down and play his guitar. He could already imagine his soft fingers gliding across the neck and making the music but his guitar was no where near. It was at home. He actually had two but he preferred his electric and referred to his electric as his. He referred to the acoustic as 'a guitar'.

Mr. Eastwood did catch her smile but he couldn't smile back. He was too busy trying to wrap his thoughts around his brain. He was going to die. How could he prepare Jenna for that? How could he make it so that it wouldn't hit her so hard when he did? There was no way for him to know. He knew he sure as hell wasn't prepared to die and he never would be. He loved life but at the same time, he wanted to die sooner rather than later if it was going to be excruciating painful. As Rigg Damien Eastwood had never had cancer before, there was no way to tell if it would hurt him as bad as it had hurt others. He'd never seen a cancer patient up close before but now he was stuck as one. His fists clenched weakly and his fingernails dug into the palm of his hand. His jaw was moving back and forth, causing his teeth to grind. Mr. Eastwood was trying to distract himself from the full extent of the shock of being stuck with cancer by causing temporary pain to his palms. Was that the answer to keeping sane to all this? Hurting himself in different ways? Was that why people cut themselves, because it caused relief compared to the pain they were dealing with? Was it relief?

Rigg sighed unhappily. She was so confident and it scared him mostly. He didn't want her hopes to get up too high. He didn't want her setting the bar too high for him to meet. Rigg was sure he was going to die and she seemed positive that he was going to make it. He was caught speechless by her words and he saw her cheerleaders looking at Jenna and him curiously. He wrapped his unhealthy, weak arms around her shoulders and buried his face into her shoulder. "I can't deal with it Jenna... I can't."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jenna rianne taylor]

Hearing Rigg express with everything in him that he couldn't do it, broke Jenna's heart. Of course she knew he wouldn't be the most optimistic person, no one really would after they found out that they had cancer, but it was just so... not Rigg. Rigg was always optimistic and this would totally be a switch for Jenna to get used to. Which she would, indeed, get used to, because she wasn't going anywhere. Jenna could definitely be stubborn, and with something like this she knew she would be. Although everything scared her so much, she couldn't imagine leaving Rigg then.

"Yes you can, and you will. We'll get through this," Jenna spoke, running a hand through Rigg's long hair. She made sure to include herself in it, because at this point she felt like Rigg mostly needed support, and Jenna was most definitely on it. She felt horrible for Rigg, but at the same time she didn't really know what to do, or what to say. It was taking everything in her to assure him that he'd be fine, although she didn't want to get her hopes up– it was definitely worth the risk though.

"You're not going to just sit there and let this kill you, are you?" Jenna asked, a small hint of frustration in her voice to get the point across. "That's not you Rigg Eastwood, and you know it. If this kills you then don't you want to go out fighting? That's always the Rigg I knew," Jenna told him honestly, moving her hands to each side of his face and lifting it from out of her shoulder. "You'll be okay, we'll do this together," Jenna's voice was as sincere and soft as ever, and she held eye contact with him for quite awhile. A glint of hope was in her eyes and it was silent between them for a moment. Jenna's eyes only wandered as far as to search Rigg's face, then glued back to meet his eyes. It still was silent between the two, but it was perfect. Jenna loved every single thing about Rigg and honestly didn't want to think twice about the possibility of losing him. Sure, he screwed up when he slept with Emily; Everyone had hang-ups now and then. Emily was a slut anyways and it was clear she only slept with him for that reason. This wasn't about Emily right now though, this wasn't about Jenna either-- it was about Rigg.

"Ask me to be your girlfriend." Jenna practically ordered, though her voice was soft and quiet- only loud enough for Rigg to hear, even though there was obviously no one around them at the moment. It was random, but Jenna felt like it was long overdue and she felt like it would be easily for Rigg to just introduce her as his girlfriend, seeing as how she was planning to be in his life indefinitely through all of this stuff.

[rigg]

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

[/color][/size]
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?[/i][/size]
Would you live each moment like your last?[/size][/b]
Leave old pictures in the past?[/size][/i][/center]

Rigg was never pessimistic. It just wasn't in his blood to be that way... Not ever and now he just was being pessimistic. He was terrified and he was already feeling guilty. He didn't want everybody to freak out and be all freak depressed if/when he died. He wasn't super popular but he had his friends and he didn't want them freaking out. He didn't want Jenna not being able to move on... Why did this have to happen to Rigg of all people? Why did cancer even exist? He really couldn't believe that he'd live. The survival rates were low and his lifestyle definitely didn't help his case. In fact, he was going to die because of his lifestyle. Rigg sighed. He was just so scared.

Rigg didn't want to ask the question he was about to but he felt like he needed to joke around to make it lighten up a little. He had to stop freaking out. He had Jenna, she'd already said that. Now he just had to see if he could beat it. He'd be sick, yes, but he had a small chance on living. He needed to focus all his energy on that small chance even if it was really small. He had to... For Jenna. He had no one else tying him down to Earth, not even Ben. Jenna was the only one that made him even think about fighting it at all. He had a mischevious look in his eye and said, "You still gonna love me when I'm Mr. Baldy?" He had to bring back the old Rigg much as he didn't want to. How did she expect him to be optimistic all the sudden? He'd just barely gotten diagnosed with a horrible disease that was likely to kill him.

Now she was asking questions he very much disliked. He hated these sort of questions and he was going to get a whole bunch of them all the time now. He hated it already but he had to deal with it. He'd be patient with Jenna. "There's not much I can do is there? It's not like the Stomach Flu where you sit in bed and then it's gone. Yes, I'm doing Chemo.... But I can't just fight it Jenna. It doesn't exactly work that way." He wasn't being mean because he couldn't be mean to Jenna... Ever. Rigg was a polite young man believe it or not, when he wanted to be. He let those manners go when he was partying it up but he always tried to keep Jenna on a pedestal. That pedestal had been destroyed when Emily had taken advantage of him but he was re-building it now. He had to re-build it for Jenna's sake. She deserved that much even if she hated him which she had already proven she didn't. Jenna still loved Rigg and Rigg would love Jenna forever and ever no matter what. It didn't matter if they didn't get married; he'd still love her. Rigg smiled and watched her face carefully, looking for any signs of disbelief. He didn't see any so he answered, "You really think so? You really think I'm gonna make it even with my lifestyle?" He wanted her true opinion not just her trying to pep him up. Rigg Eastwood wanted a real answer. He wanted her to be straight up with him.

"I don't know when Chemo starts... You'd have to ask Ben. I don't want to know 'til the day before it's s'posed to start..." He smiled sadly. He was going to fight every step of the way for Jenna... He had no one else to fight for really unless you counted Ben. He didn't like the family he had so what was there to fight for? Rigg was certainly not fighting for himself... He didn't really care if he died anymore but he did care about Jenna and he didn't want to hurt her. He heard her words but only faintly and his eyes widened. Why would she want to be dating him? What if he died? What if her heart died with him? He got down on one knee like he was proposing just for the theatrics, "Jenna Rianna Taylor, will you be my girlfriend?" He grinned and stood back up, not really waiting for an answer and wrapped his arms around her again. He was shaky but he finally had some hope... Jenna was his hope.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jenna rianne taylor]

Rigg was so adorable, in every single aspect. Even with his tired eyes and weakness, Jenna still thought Rigg was the best thing walking. She truly couldn't imagine losing him, nor did she want to, but at this point Jenna was pretty hopeful. It was inevitable that Jenna would of course have some fear about this whole diagnostic but she couldn't show it- and right now that was the farthest thing from her mind any way. Rigg would make it and they would live happily ever after... right?

"Of course I'm still gonna love you when you lose all your hair, you dork," Jenna teased, ruffling his full head of hair before standing up a little taller to kiss Rigg's check. She liked that Rigg wasn't too tall, but still taller than she was. Jenna frowned slightly when she heard him say leukemia wasn't something that one could 'fight through'. Jenna, of course, begged to differ. "You can absolutely fight it. Don't just sit there and rot and let the cancer kill you, you have to want to be alive," Jenna told Rigg in her 'i mean business' voice that she often used to the juniors and underclassmen at cheer. "I want you to be alive," A small smile creeped back on to Jenna's face as she looked up at Rigg, her eyes filled with hope.

It was just like Rigg to be goofy and exaggerated as to get down on one knee to ask her to be his girlfriend. It actually made Jenna fill with more joy to see his normal side peaking through a little bit. Here it was. This was finally happening and it couldn't have been more perfect. "Yes," Jenna replied, a huge smile on her face, "Absolutely yes!" She titled her head up to press her lips to Rigg's. Rigg Eastwood and Jenna Taylor were finally official. She knew that he would be completely confused as to why it was so urgent, and he'd think the timing was off but Jenna couldn't have thought of a better time. She couldn't risk one more moment anymore, and they couldn't take anything for granted. Jenna was happy, despite Rigg's diagnostic. Her mindset though was that together they were a force to be reckoned with of sorts. They would get through his... together.

[rigg]

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

[/color][/size]
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?[/i][/size]
Would you live each moment like your last?[/size][/b]
Leave old pictures in the past?[/size][/i][/center]

In Rigg Damien Eastwood's eyes, Jenna Rianne Taylor was really determined and stubborn. If she thought she was right, she was right dang it. That was the one thing Rigg loved about her. She was on top of everything too. He didn't understand how that worked but he definitely saw that she stayed on top of everything. Rigg barely kept up with his homework and being captain of the varsity soccer team, much less anything else. He loved soccer but he was definitely not going to be playing much soccer for a while. He was going to have to be content with his guitar for a long time. He wasn't going to have the strength to move around a lot but he would definitely try to keep his muscles working from now on. He didn't want to be completely unhealthy if he walked away from this horrible, evil disease. Of course, his muscle and shit was going to slowly fade but he could try to keep up as much as he could, right?

"Couldn't help but make sure. 'Cause you know, I won't look as good as I do without my beautiful full head of hair." Rigg stuck his tongue out, teasing her. He proceeded to grin, to put up a show that he was okay. He didn't know if he was okay but he knew he was lightening up the mood and that was all that mattered. The cheerleaders that were starting to get curious didn't matter anymore. It just mattered that he was trying to make Jenna smile again and hopefully end up smiling himself. Mr. Eastwood easily caught the frown and he frowned too. Frowning was the opposite of smiling. "Okay, okay! Truce. You win, as always." He wrinkled his nose but he was just teasing her, same as he used to. Maybe, just maybe he could allow himself to get through this. Maybe he'd make it. If he could just keep staying optimistic, he could survive it, right? He could walk away... Some people did. Maybe he could make it through too. "I want to be alive too." He smiled a half smile. It was true he wanted to be alive but not in a vegetable state.

Rigg kissed her back, wrapping his arms around the middle of her back. He didn't try to lift her up like he usually did because he didn't want to drop her. That'd be bad. He was actually...Content now. He was able to smile and that was because he had Jenna to himself. Jenna was all his and nobody else mattered. Though... Rigg figured he should probably let Jenna dismiss the other cheerleaders or something. Rigg pulled away gently and said, "You gonna leave your girls standing there Miss Jenna Rianne Taylor?" He smiled teasingly and let it go up to his eyes. His eyes lit up with happiness. He could forget about the Cancer for a little bit. He could let it go. Rigg Damien Eastwood could forget about his cancer and be happy for a little while. As long as Jenna was around, he would not sulk. He'd be optimistic.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jenna rianne taylor]

Jenna watched Rigg for a moment, trying still to take everything in. In this small, brief meeting between them Rigg Eastwood had told Jenna Taylor that he had leukemia and could potentially die, and also the two had made their long-lasting 'fling' into an official relationship. Jenna's emotions could not be more confused on how to act at the moment- she was a mix of happy, yet worried, yet excited and hopeful, yet scared. All she knew though was the Rigg Damien Eastwood was her's and only her's. Jenna was obviously a head-strong girl and when she had her mind set on something, that was the only possible answer. She refused to think that the leukemia would kill Rigg, it just couldn't happen like that- it wouldn't make sense. Someone like Rigg, so bubbly and full of energy.. it just didn't match up. Rigg never did anything to deserve this. Jenna settled on the fact that she knew she was right, Rigg would fight it, and that would be that. It was already quite evident that things would get real serious, real fast between the two juniors- Jenna certainly didn't seem to mind though, she was in for the ride.. whatever that meant.

"You'll look good no matter what," Jenna laughed, assuring Rigg with a smile. She was so relieved that the normal Rigg that she was so used to and so in love with was peaking through. It seemed as though Rigg's attitude completely shifted within the few minutes that they had been talking– Jenna could only hope that she could always provide that for Rigg when he got down or upset about his sickness or anything for that matter. She always wanted to be the one to put that smile on his face and brighten his mood, he deserved it. Jenna laughed quietly at Rigg admitting she was right. She knew he only did it because he didn't want to argue with her... typical Rigg. But Jenna loved that about him, he wasn't as stubborn as she was, and wasn't completely annoyed that she was stubborn. It was cute. Then she heard Rigg's words that he wanted to be alive too, and for some reason that was a relief for Jenna to hear, "Good, I'm glad." She replied.

Jenna's lips curved into a smile while she kissed Rigg in return. Something about kissing Rigg just felt right, in every aspect, and Jenna was happy with that. She lifted her arms and wrapped them loosely around Rigg's neck as she deepened the kiss, a little thrown off when he chose to pull away. Right. Jenna had completely forgotten about the cheerleaders. She shrugged, "They're just doing stunt groups, I'm sure they'll live with being away from me for a little longer." Jenna winked before letting out a small giggle. She kept her arms wrapped around Rigg, refusing to let go just yet.

[rigg]

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

[/color][/size]
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?[/i][/size]
Would you live each moment like your last?[/size][/b]
Leave old pictures in the past?[/size][/i][/center]

Rigg was content despite his diagnosis and the fact that he was sure he was going to die. He had Jenna all to himself now and she was sticking with him throughout this horrible hand he'd been dealt. He wasn't happy with the "cards" he'd gotten but he was going to have to work with what he got, just like everybody else. He was just worried about going to the hospital and seeing all those sad looking little kids that had cancer too... Rigg definitely did not want to see that and he didn't want all the shots that came with Leukemia. He didn't want to have to visit with the nurses and come to know their names and shit. He didn't want to have to see the doctor's sympathetic face and he definitely didn't want to have to go through the horrid medicine: chemotherapy. He also didn't want to have to go through radiation like some people did. What kind of messed up world was this? Why was cancer part of their world? Why were people's bodies turning on them? The world felt the need to torture people who hadn't done anything wrong...Well Rigg had but what about those innocent little kids that were sitting in the hospital with cancer right now? What about that? He wanted to just have another melt down but he'd already decided he wasn't going to... Not again today.

"Don't be so sure. You've never seen me bald, have you?" Rigg teased back though he meant what he said. He hadn't seen himself bald yet but he already imagined what it would look like. In his wonderful, sickening imagination, it didn't look good on him at all. He wanted to keep his hair forever... He hadn't ever thought about shorter length of hair than he had right now. Rigg figured it was probably really bad that what he was mostly worried about was his hair. That was a girl thing, wasn't it? Girls were supposed to care about their hair and boys were supposed to have other crises like not being able to play a certain sport? Rigg wasn't going to be able to play soccer but he was more worried about his hair. He could "coach" from the side lines mostly. He wrinkled his nose but grinned before saying, "You better be glad. The only reason I want to be alive is 'cause of you." He was teasing her but she was the main reason he was even bothering to battle it out. Neither soccer, guitar, or his hair was keeping him tied to Earth. Just Jenna. He had nothing else really because both his parents and any siblings he'd had were dead.

Rigg felt her arms go around his neck but it didn't bother him. It felt just perfect to be here with her even if they didn't exactly fit in the same social group at all. Rigg wasn't 'in' with the cheerleaders or football guy social group. He was in the 'scene kid' group but he was just fine with that. Being a scene kid was fun in Rigg's opinion and he didn't mind that Jenna wasn't following him down that path. Rigg wanted Jenna to stay mostly innocent because that was one of the things he loved about Jenna; she didn't get in trouble like he did. Rigg's phone buzzed and he pulled it out... It was Ben texting him wondering where in the hell he was and what was taking him so long. Rigg didn't even bother to text back but replied to Jenna, "In that case..." Rigg kissed her lightly.

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jenna rianne taylor]

CLOSED--x