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Post by emily ann armstrong on Jan 28, 2011 16:15:56 GMT -4
That’s something you’ll have to risk. Hearing those words sent a jolt of trembles through her entire body. Risk. Risky. That was a hard thing for Emily to grasp. She knew that it was unfair for Mason and her to continue having sex and being the way that they were when their emotions were so intense, but at least if they tried to deny their feeling something might get better. The Jenna factor was by far the one thing that had Emily so hung up. She didn’t want to date in the first place, never wanted to love but now that she was in so deep with Mason (and she hadn’t even told him about the baby yet), how could she handle it if he decided to leave her for Jenna?
When Mason took Emily in his arms, she melted. She let down every wall that had been up, released every emotion that she had been holding back and as she cried against him, her body was crumbling. Grasping desperately onto his arms for support, Emily just cried. His words were sweet and comforting and though she wasn’t sure just how much she could believe that he honestly wanted to be with Emily more than Jenna, she didn’t fight it. ”I…I..c-can’t lose you.” She mumbled into his neck, trying to calm her breathing again. Her arms moved up and around his neck and she pulled him closer.
Emily knew she wasn’t good for Mason from the get go. He was too sincere, too kind and Emily was just a mess. She didn’t care much about people and only offered minimal compassion to the ones that she did care about. All Mason was was kindness. He was genuine and kind and supportive and funny and intelligent and everything that anyone would ever want in a person. Mason could quite possibly offer Emily the world and in return, she would only ever be able to offer him her wounded, misguided, conflicted self. And her love, though she still didn’t know what that entailed.
The feeling of his fingers on her face caused her to lean in to him even more. Her breathing was steady and though tears were still slowly slipping down her cheeks, they were silent now. As her eyes were tilted to meet his, Emily hoped that he could read the sincerity in her eyes. Maybe she couldn’t properly express how she felt in words, but she hoped he could see how much she cared for him. Hearing the words I want you sounded bittersweet. Emily wanted Mason, too. She wanted all of him but she wasn’t sure if Mason was meaning the same thing. As their lips met, Emily pushed in to him. She hoped that he could feel how desperate she was for him and how much she just needed to be in his arms.
Pulling back, Emily brought her hands to gently cup his face as she pressed her forehead against his, her eyes falling closed. Why was this so difficult? She knew what she wanted and she knew that he wanted it, too- why was she fighting it. Sighing, she swallowed the saliva that had been produced by her tears and wrapped her arms around him tighter. ”I meant it when I said I loved you….and even though I’m terrified that I’m not going to know how to love you the way that you deserve to be loved, I want to try. I want to try and be what you need. I want to try and make you happy. I can’t just give up on..” She opened her eyes and stared at him. ”I can’t just give up on the way I feel about you and the way you make me feel.” Shaking her head slightly she continued. ”I’ve never felt anything close to this before and I’m just….nervous that I’m not going to live up to your expectations.”
Letting her hands fall from his face and taking a step backwards, her hands grasped his and she pulled them up to her chest. Her heart was beating so fast that it could quite possibly burst out of her chest. Her eyes were still locked on his though they were slightly clouded with the weight of tears. ”I want to make you happy and I want to give you everything that you deserve and everything that you want.”
Tagged: Masonnnn Word count: 731 Notes: <3 [/sup]
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Post by mason on Jan 29, 2011 18:26:37 GMT -4
His fingers brushed threw her hair as she spoke again. It was apparent that neither could handle the thought of losing what they had. Losing the sex was the last of Mason’s worries. Losing Emily as a whole was his main concern. He knew, that if she had chosen his first option, being friends without any physical ties, then it would be impeccably hard to look at her the same way. Even if he tried to be civil, it would be hard to forget all the time spent with her. All the touching. All the kissing. All the sensations that he felt when with her. It would be near impossible for Mason to leave and pretend as though nothing had happened. But if that were the only option he would have to deal with it. Erasing the girl completely from his memory just wasn’t going to happen. He would keep her in his life even if it was just as friends. At this point, he wasn’t sure what the decision would be but fighting wasn’t how he wanted to end his time spent with her. Not after the amazing night they had.
His lips grazed her forehead, in an attempt to comfort her before their eyes met. Chills weren’t sent down his spine as his gaze was locked on her. Mason could feel a new set of emotions in the air. This time the atmosphere that surrounded them was soothing and sincere. They were quite but there was no awkwardness. He could stand there, staring into her eyes all day and feel completely comfortable. Even though words were consoling, actions were nicer at times. At this time. In this moment. If Emily didn’t want to say how she felt, he could feel it radiating threw stare, threw her touch. It was all there. Maybe not when Mason had wanted it to come out but better late than never. He could feeling a tingling sensation in is chest as her hands engulfed his face. His eyes closed as their foreheads met and suddenly all his worry went away. For some reason she had that effect on him. Even if he was in the worst of moods, Emily could make him feel better. Make him feel important. Make him feel loved. He found himself holding his breath as she corrupted the silence. He was slightly scared at what she was about to say. Would she go for his first option? Would she say she needed more time? It was all unpredictable, even as Emily lingered in another direction.
Her words were relieving as he held her in his arms. His grip tightened slightly, never wanting to let go. Mason wanted to speak and assure everything. Assure that when he said he loved her that he meant it. That she would make him happy even though she doubted but he didn’t want to ruin her moment. His gaze met hers again and it was then did he let out the breath he had been holding in. Everything she was inviting and calming. What anger and frustration he had minutes ago was now gone. Mason hadn’t expect this kind of result. When he was giving her the choice to change their relationship he assumed she would keep it as it was. No other involvements so that there would be no more complications but either way she had chosen would have been difficult. He was pleased that Emily was going to take a chance on them. He definitely couldn’t stand before her and promise that everything would work out in the end. He hoped it would but he could promise to make her happy with what time they had together.
Mason watched as she stepped back and allowed her to guide his hands to her chest. He bit down on his lower lip, feeling her heart race against the palm of his hands. He felt his own heart race speed up, keeping attention focused on her. Emily’s eyes were glossy and still wet. He swallowed a dry lump in his throat as she concluded her emotional down poor. Mason slid one hand away from her grasp and set it against the back of her neck. “I am happy with you.” He stated pulling their faces close. He nuzzled his nose against hers and let out a relaxing sigh. “Just give this a chance…give us a chance.” He pressed his lips softly against hers, kissing her tenderly. “I just want you to be happy.” He claimed, pulling away again. His eyes scanned the room for a clock to check the time. He had football practice soon but he still had some time to spare. “I don’t want to leave but I should let you have some time to think. Least I can do.” Mason kissed her again and pulled her into a tight hug. If it was one practice he’d be willing to skip it would be this one. He wanted to stay and comfort her. Hold her until she felt better.
tagged'' emily word count'' 836 comments'' ♥
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Post by emily ann armstrong on Jan 30, 2011 5:16:32 GMT -4
Being ‘just friends’ would never work between Mason and Emily. If they could have sex, then at least she would still have a way to release and reveal her emotions towards him, but Emily could never just be Mason’s friend. In the short time that they had gotten close, Emily had fallen for him harder than she ever thought was possible. He came in as this knight on his high horse and just swept her off her feet. Emily even knew from the first night that she spent with him that he would mean more to her than just a good fuck but never in a million years did she predict the strength of her feelings for him now.
Though there were doubts running through her head, the strongest was in regards to Jenna. Emily knew the power that Jenna held over Mason. He loved her and he would probably always love her. That was a hard fact for Emily to be okay with. Being fifteen and being raped and being abused and being on drugs really made it hard for Emily to see the genuine side to people and when she saw Mason, she saw how much he loved Jenna and that tore her apart. Clinging to him even tighter, Emily closed her eyes and hoped that he would give her the chance to be better than he expected before he got tired of her and moved on to someone new, or, even worse, went back to Jenna.
Looking down at their hands covering her heart, Emily sighed. Could he feel the way it jumped for him? Could he feel the way it danced beneath his touch? Never in Emily’s entire life had she imagined this sort of a connection with another human being. It was almost like he filled this void in her heart that she didn’t even know existed until he showed it to her. And the pain she felt over him was only stemmed by the pleasure that she feared would be taken away. Emily didn’t need to have sex with Mason, she didn’t need to kiss him, hell, she didn’t even need to touch him to feel the power he had over her. Mason had Emily in the palm of his hand and for the first time, she wasn’t going to fight with him about it anymore.
Closing her eyes again, she sighed and a small smile spread across her lips. When he assured her of his happiness, she couldn’t help but beam up at him. All Emily wanted was for him to be happy. That was all she would ever want for him. Emily sniffled and giggled softly as he rubbed his nose against hers and her hands returned to his face, holding him close to her. Something about the movement was so sweet and innocent that she could almost feel her heart falling for him again. ”I want to be with you.” She whispered in response to his words after he pulled away. ”And Mason…” She giggled again softly, her eyes full of admiration. ”You make me happier than I have ever been.”
When Mason pulled away, Emily’s smile faded as she watched him curiously. Nodding slowly at his words, she sighed. Emily didn’t want him to leave but she agreed that she needed to let her emotions settle before she put him through even more emotional chaos. Relieved when his arms engulfed her again, Emily kissed him back passionately. Her hands managed to tangle in his hair again and she didn’t want to pull away, but she knew she had to. Pulling back reluctantly, she sighed, staring into his eyes. ”You probably should go because I don’t want you to mess up anything, but I want you to know that I do want to be with you…and I’m going to stop trying to fight it now. You..you mean much, much more to me than I expected you too and I would be lying to both of us if I told you that I just wanted to be your friend.” Kissing him again, she rested her forehead against his as she pulled away.
Her hands moved down to hold his and she watched as they formed together so perfectly. Leaning up again, her lips brushed his lightly before she met his eyes. ”I want everything from you that you are willing to give me.” She smiled, kissing him again. ”And I want you for as long as you will have me.” Her smile grew a little more as her lips brushed his a final time. ”And I love you. And I’m proud to love you.” She laughed. ”I’ll announce it to the world if you want!” She laughed, leaning her head back slightly. ”I’m not going to run from you anymore because Mason, you’ve won.” Her smile was soft but her words were sincere and all she could do was shrug. Mason had won over Emily, entirely, and there was no point in her fighting it anymore. Her hands squeezed his and she continued to stare into his eyes, her voice switching octaves as she recited the lyrics to the song that had been playing in her head the entire morning. ”You have stolen my heart.”
[/i] [/blockquote] Tagged: Masonnnn Word count: 873 Notes: <3 [/sup]
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